


"SLASH DAMMIT"

by crush_zombie



Category: Left 4 Dead (Video Games)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Nick, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:22:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25100839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crush_zombie/pseuds/crush_zombie
Summary: [Reposting from Livejournal with minimal editing. Originally written in late 2011.]Everyone was dead. His ex-wife, anyone he'd associated with, anyone he owed money to, anyone who owed money to him. The number of people he was forced to interact with on a daily basis had dropped dramatically.For this, somewhere inside Nick, he was infinitely pleased. A zombie apocalypse could be rather paradisiacal.
Relationships: Ellis/Nick (Left 4 Dead)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

The smell of burning wood. It was getting late in the dry forest on the Texas-Louisiana border and under the canopy of trees it was already dark, save for the small camp-fire the survivors sat around. There was no practical place to sleep there, and food was getting exceedingly scarce.  
Nick sat next to Coach and Rochelle while they all thought of one thing; where and how they were going to find their next meal. Understandably, they were all very quiet.  
The man in the white suit stared solemnly into the crackling fire. His stomach was groaning with a deep hunger, the result of not having anything decent to eat in weeks. Gas pushed around in his abdomen like a knife as he imagined a preferred dinner of medium-rare steak. He sighed, rubbing his terribly dry eyes. Catching sight of his dirty fingers he cringed somewhat in regret.  
Coach's head raised as Ellis approached the fire with a pile of twigs and sticks under arm. The young man dropped them next to the flames and sat down, dropping himself upon the grassy forest floor in exhaustion.  
He looked to each of the others, observing as they stared into the fire, absorbed in thought.  
Turning to Nick, Ellis cleared his throat.  
"...Got any ideas?"  
Nick shook his head. Ellis puffed a sigh and faced the others in turn.  
"...Maybe this is, y'know, counter-effective," he rustled the wood in the fire with another stick, "Ah heard it takes a lot of energy to use your brain."  
"Make no wonder you've got so much, then," Nick croaked as he glared into the fire. Coach gave him a look.  
"There's four of us, that's enough 'brain energy' to go around," the oldest assured them.  
"We should just go to sleep," Rochelle suggested, "Gather up some moss and..." she shrugged.  
They all agreed, insisting that they preserve what energy they had.  
As they assembled in an awkward, uncomfortable pile, Nick made sure he occupied the outside, wary of any unconscious cuddling or suggestions to steal his coat. In fact he was surprised no-one had suggested it already.  
The forest at night was full of sounds. Not just Coach snoring, but an endless rustling by animals and unseen onlookers and non-stop wind.  
Nick's stomach twisted in starvation and he squeezed his eyes shut, thinking of something to distract his mind from his burning guts.  
Not a grilled cheese sandwich... maybe the very attractive girl he made out with on his boat-ride to Georgia. She had light hair, these waif-like wrists and fingers. Her nails were painted lavender.  
Nick's stomach tingled as he remembered her tongue pushing against his own, her licking and suckling his neck. Those delicate fingers pulling his shirt out of his pants and plastic-y nails trailing through the sparse black curls on his chest.  
He didn't really feel like telling her, but he loved how she smelled. Sweet, like berries.  
And that reminded him of food again. He didn't have the energy to sigh about it.  
So then, a bigger, more important memory than that. The files of his memories were getting pulled out of the cabinets for something wholly and distractingly sexy.  
He remembered something that made him frown a little. A memory of how dumb he was when he was younger, when he told a friend of his that he'd "try anything once."  
His younger self had no business being so open-minded, not when... _good grief_ , his frown deepened. It was unsanitary, but how the flood-gates of his memories opened at the thought-- an electric-hot wave poured through his body, pooling at his groin when he remembered a young man's weight over him, yes, when that acquaintance's hands were wrapped around Nick's wrists as he gently rocked into him.  
Nick recalled the fire of ecstasy lit throughout him as his friend pushed at his prostate over and over and over.  
To his horror he was starting to get hard thinking about this. He rolled onto his stomach, frustrated, and tried to think of something unsexy, like food.

The morning was crisp with a chilliness. Autumn was finally visiting the south, well into October.  
When he woke up Nick found twigs in his hair and upon looking at the others, Ellis sleeping with his arm draped over Coach. Stifling a mocking snicker he straightened his coat and tried to work out a kink in his neck.  
After everyone woke up they all gathered around to make a plan.  
All the food they had was put in front of them; a small bag of oats one of them had found, and another small bag of clover. According to Ellis, clover was nutritious, although people generally made tea from it, instead of just eating the leaves. Nick was the first to venture eating it, but it made his stomach rather sour.  
Obviously they had to find more than this for four people.  
"If we keep going south we should run into Johnson Bayou," Ellis said, rubbing his runny nose with the back of his right hand.  
"You ever been there?" Coach asked him, "We been avoiding towns because we're low on ammo, but if there's a chance there's a gun shop there..."  
Nick stood off and picked up his AK-47, popping the magazine off. Just 17 bullets were left, and his aim wasn't so great when he was so hungry. He assumed the same for everyone else. Ellis' Sniper Rifle had long-since gone out of use, and a few times he considered dumping it for the sake of ten less pounds to carry around. Coach and Rochelle had about thirty shots between them in a Shotgun and a Magnum, respectively. Rochelle did have an assault rifle, but unlike Ellis she abandoned it in the last town they visited.  
A burp crawled up from Nick's gut. It tasted like shit.  
"...I don't know about a gun shop, but... if there's nothing to eat there we can keep going south, to the Gulf of Mexico."  
"And the gulf means fish, right?" Rochelle showed her approval, "This is a good idea."  
Everyone exchanged nods and picked up their guns. The bag of clover was stuffed into Nick's coat pocket, while Rochelle carried the oats in her free hand.  
They walked for hours south, passing through sparse forests and fields of tall grass and taking breaks every now and then, and shared around some oats and clover sparingly.  
As they continued their journey everyone was absolutely silent. Even Ellis, which mildly surprised everyone.  
The white-suited man moaned quietly as a soupy nausea washed over him. He froze in place, causing Ellis to bump into him when he felt a familiar lump in his throat.  
"What's wrong?" The young man asked, moving to inspect Nick's face.  
Arms swam through the air, pushing the mechanic aside as Nick bent over and heaved into the dry grass. A splatter of green and white foam hit the ground, leaving a trail of thick saliva over Nick's lips and chin.  
"Whoa, now!" Ellis tried to interact somehow but Nick pushed him away as he wiped his face on his sleeve.  
"...Fucking..." The man huffed and burped, "...shit...!"  
"Jeez, Nick... You okay?"  
He shook his head as the other two approached, asking what happened. Ellis explained and they continued their journey after offering him what food they had.  
"Get that shit out of my face," he batted their helping hands aside.  
As they continued walking Nick was very sure they were all going to die.

While they walked Nick thought up a plan. A human can live for about two weeks without food before they really kick the bucket if they're lying completely still. Maybe he could convince everyone to leave him in this field to lie down and conserve his energy while they searched for food to bring him. By his human nature he hung on, over and over until he really couldn't take it any more.  
He cracked his dry mouth open to suggest it, but all that came from his throat was a low hiss as Coach turned to them and interrupted.  
"Ellis, lemme borrow your Rifle for a sec," his hand reached out as the younger nodded and complied.  
Everyone stood behind Coach and waited for an explanation. As he peered through the scope his voice came low, "...There's a house right there."  
Breaths were held, ready for whatever might be next.  
"...It doesn't look like anybody's around. Everybody, keep your eyes peeled, we're going."  
A feather of something was blown up through Nick's body. It felt like excitement, or anxiety. He tried to not get his hopes up, but they were so desperate it was particularly hard.  
"...Feels like we're gonna rob the place," Ellis whispered, glaring through the tall grass.  
"We are," the Producer smiled through her words, "You okay, Nick?"  
A nod, panting, "Yeah, robbing houses... is my calling, y'know."  
Rochelle gave him a pat on the shoulder, "See? You ain't dead yet. In these situations your sense of humor usually goes first."  
"...Usually."  
They crouched low and approached the house in a line, readying their weapons.  
As he readied his AK Nick felt a second wind. He took a deep breath before everyone nodded to each other and moved to the front door. Coach checked the door handle.  
Locked. That was a good sign.  
Ellis scanned the area with his rifle's scope while the rest of them searched the windows. There was no sign of life anywhere.  
They argued about breaking the door, then about breaking a window. Nick thought back, eyes squeezed shut, mind misty with fatigue, thinking of all the times he tried to break into his own house, and suggested they look for a backdoor of some sort.  
They found a simple, small, slightly overgrown wooden door leading to the basement. Looking inside they suddenly became apprehensive. It was pitch-dark.  
"...I'll go first," Rochelle bravely stepped forward and slowly crawled in, Magnum pointed forward.  
Ellis squat down outside the door and turned to Coach and Nick, "Uh... I guess I'll go next."  
One by one they filed in, but once inside regret instantly settled inside Nick. He couldn't see anything, the space was about three feet high, and god knows what could be down there. Zombies, maybe not, but there were all sorts of insane animals in Louisiana, and what if he got a rusty nail through the knee or something? He'd get tetanus and die a horrible, horrible death.  
His eyes strained against the blackness, his hands reaching out to check the ground he was about to crawl on. He felt an ankle, some material like a--  
_Thud!_ The butt of a PSG hit him in the face, inciting a strangled cry.  
"Nick! Oh gawd, sorry! Sorry, sorry!" Ellis was very apologetic.  
Nick was about to launch himself onto the boy and mash his face into meatloaf when Rochelle found a door.  
Everyone waited while she poked a hole in the old, wooden door's plastic face and reached in to spin its handle, letting them all inside.  
They stood up in the house's basement, assumably, and surveyed the place. Lots of wood piled up against a wall, and a wood furnace in its center. The ceiling wasn't finished, its insulation was visible through the plastic stapled to the beams. An uneven cement floor crunched against Nick's knee as he stood up slowly, weary of getting a head rush. Ellis turned to him.  
"Aw, shit," a hand reached up to the other man's cheekbone, "Dammit, your face is bleedin', Nick."  
"Don't touch me," he batted the hand away, "You hit me with your god-damn gun!"  
"I said I was sorry!" Ellis whined.  
"God damn it, everybody just shut the hell up," the oldest turned to them, "We gotta check this house."  
They got into position, holding their guns. Ellis grabbed the splitting-axe from near the pile of wood and held it with both hands.  
Filing up the basement's stairs Coach opened the door quietly and stepped into the building's laundry room first. They slowly moved to the kitchen, checking behind cupboards and under tables, and followed the staircase up to the bedrooms. The house was covered in a fancy burgundy wallpaper, trimmed in cream. Every floor was hardwood paneled. There were two bedrooms, and the survivors checked them thoroughly before Ellis opened the door to the bathroom.  
He held the wood axe, ready to plunge it into somebody's head while he surveyed the small room. An old-fashioned, claw-footed bathtub sat under a window with a pale curtain. It was pretty cozy-looking.  
They dispersed through the house then, following their curiosity.  
Nick took his coat off and threw it over the upstairs banister as his hunger set in again.  
"Nick!" An excited voice sounded from the kitchen.  
All the cupboards were thrown open while the three other survivors marveled at the food they'd found. Nick was very surprised as Ellis pulled a chair out at the table for him.  
"Siddown, siddown," the boy pushed him and he complied.  
"Something, anything, Ellis. You could hand me a turd on a plate and it'd probably be delicious right now," a glare bore into the back of Ellis' head.  
“Why didn't you just eat your own turds before we got here?”  
“Gross!”  
Ellis just ignored him as everyone prepared some food. An apple was placed in front of him.  
"Uh-uh," Nick shook his head, "Apples are 'fast trains', you don't eat them on an empty stomach."  
Coach sat down across from him with a bowl of cereal, "And I hope everybody's gonna eat real slow, alright?"  
Rochelle opened the fridge, “Woah, it's actually cold.”  
Nick then noticed an already-opened letter in front of him. Opening it again he started to read its contents.  
"What's that?" Coach asked.  
"...It seems to be... a letter from CEDA... 'Residents of Johnson Bayou are hereby instructed to report to the Civil Emergency and Defence Agency's Evacuation Center in Port Arthur, Texas by October twenty-first of 2009...'"  
"What do you want, Nick?" Ellis turned to him from the counter under the cupboards.  
"Oh, uh... got any toast?"  
"Yeeeap! There's strawberry jam, butter, peanut butter..."  
"Peanut butter," the gambler ordered, ready to consume some protein. He folded the letter and returned it to its envelope.  
"So that's why there's no zombies here, I guess," sitting next to Coach, Rochelle started on some cereal too.  
After they ate everyone started minding their own business, finding beds to nap on and just wandering around the house looking at pictures and book collections.  
Nick discovered a door underneath the stairwell and invited Ellis to check it out with him.  
Opening the door they found a staircase going down into blackness. A lightswitch was on the right. Nick flicked it and to their surprise lights came on in a room at the bottom.  
"Bright," Ellis muttered before they slowly trekked down, steps creaking with their intrusion. At the end was a small room with a desk, a typewriter on it with some scattered books and a bed in the corner. The sheets were in a mess. Nick checked under the bed as the other man looked at the books and rested his fingers on the typewriter's keys.  
"...The guy who lived here was a writer?" he asked nobody in particular.  
"Hmm, I'm kinda' impressed," Nick turned, not finding anything out of place. Well, he'd found where he was gonna sleep tonight.  
After a little while they retreated to the dining room. Everyone had decided to wash their clothes together after finding a change. Nick insisted his suit be hung to dry, even though it really needed to be dry-cleaned professionally he wasn't going to refuse washing it somehow.  
While everyone was looking through maps and letters Nick snuck upstairs and claimed the bathroom. Locking the door behind him, he moved to the tub. If there was electricity, then...  
He turned the taps, and with all the luck in the world water sputtered out before assuming a full torrent. His hands moved through the stream. It was soul-cleansingly warm.  
The dirt from his fingers made the water run dark for a moment. Nick watched as blood and soil left his hands, with something welling up in his heart, something akin to love.  
Letting the water run, he plugged the tub and started to get undressed.  
After folding his clothes and carefully lodging them on the sink's counter he quietly regarded his mildly bloated stomach. Aside from being uncomfortably full on toast and crackers, the constant starvation had its effects.  
He casually ran a fingernail over the center of his abdomen, stopping at his navel. With a sigh, he crawled into the tub. As his feet touched the water it was blazingly hot, and when his entire body sunk in to the bath's warm caress he felt an absentminded grin on his face.  
He settled for a moment, just breathing in the moist, steamy air. Then something hit him; he didn't wash the tub before getting into it.  
He squinted in annoyed regret and decided to forget about it, for his own good. There was plenty of soap and shampoo around, he was going to be clean, dammit.  
For the moment he lay in the relaxing, hot water and forgot about any zombie apocalypse, but not the people he'd been escaping it with. In fact, he started to sleepily consider himself lucky to have somehow fallen in with them.  
Coach... well, they were all lucky to have someone so level-headed around in this evidently extreme situation. He was their unspoken leader.  
Rochelle... Hmm, well, it was obvious that she hated Nick. But that's fine, two can play at that game. At least she didn't want to stab him in his sleep though.  
And then, Ellis...  
Nick lowered into the water, surrounding his head just below his nose. He thought for a long time.  
Hazily he looked at the door. He remembered locking it.  
It wasn't the thought of that kid, but something made him feel terribly relaxed, aside from the great bath.  
Security in the hands of others... it was scary how open that could make a person feel. A different kind of terror.  
His knees rose, subtly parting the water. For the first time in a long time he felt fairly at peace.

Everyone was dead. His ex-wife, anyone he'd associated with, anyone he owed money to, anyone who owed money to him. The number of people he was forced to interact with on a daily basis had dropped dramatically.  
For this, somewhere inside Nick, he was infinitely pleased. A zombie apocalypse could be rather paradisiacal.  
After changing the sheets Nick settled into bed. The basement was eerily quiet, and the bed smelled a bit strange.  
Upon closing his eyes his mind started to wander. Fingers moved under the waist of his shorts, running through the hair trailing from his stomach, scratching lightly. Before he knew it he was fondling himself, caressing the underside of his dick to encourage an erection.  
Once again he thought of a girl he barely knew. A different one, one with long, blonde hair she'd put into cute pigtails. He seemed to think met at a casino a couple years ago.  
Her lips were unbelievably soft, the color of a rosy peach. Nick's eyebrows raised as he remembered kissing her, pressing up against her in the fancy bathroom there, feeling her plump breasts against his chest.  
In his imagination he was over her as she lay and they undressed each other. As they touched in his mind, his hand firmly stroked his cock under the bedsheets. Fingers moved up his chest, groping and pinching one of his nipples.  
She fondled him, massaging his balls-- one of her fingers pushed teasingly against his entrance-- he moaned quietly as she tested him. When she pushed a finger in--  
He froze, eyes wide open. Realizing what he'd be fantasizing about, he squinted against the darkness. He was very hard.  
Somewhere in the back of his head he was wholly ashamed of himself, but he lay in bed debating whether or not to look for lubrication regardless.  
After a few minutes he snuck upstairs though the darkness, hitting his hand on the corner of a desk on the way and checked the bathroom's cabinet. He was far too happy to find a container of vaseline.  
On his way back to his bed Nick contemplated feeling guilty, but disregarded it. Nobody in the world was left to judge, anyway.  
Not when he was lying on his back with his boxers around his ankle in the basement of some stranger's house.  
He covered his fingers. Raising his knees, he thought on that fantasy again, easing into it. He wasn't quite sure what made it so appealing, but... He took his cock firmly in his other hand.  
The blonde girl was on him, teasing him again. Her lips against his, her careful hand between his legs.  
Lube-slick fingers pressed against his entrance, and upon their intrusion he shuddered, the cold feeling not all that pleasant. He pushed deep, curling them to find that spot-- "A-Ah, shit...!" a shock of pleasure searched throughout him at its touch.  
Slowly he started to move his digits in and out as he fingered himself, his breath heavy and hot. The girl in his imagination turned into that past friend, the one who fucked him all those years ago. He couldn't recall the face, but the force of his thrusts were quite vivid and despite his effort Nick's fingers didn't feel the same. It made him a bit disappointed.  
"God... damn...!" he huffed, throwing his head back against the pillow as he pumped his cock in tandem. As he pushed against his prostate his body seized in ecstasy, his back arching.  
Nick slumped against the bed, bathing in his euphoria. His stomach was covered in semen but he couldn't really care less.  
As he returned to a normal state of mind his disappointment actually set in. There was such a difference between fingering himself and actually being fucked that he began considering finding someone to do that. He was surprised that his mind went straight to Ellis.  
He thought for a while. Strangely, he didn't find as much a problem with it as he assumed Ellis would.  
In an attempt to rationalize he thought of Coach, but decided that he might not stand for Nick's weird habits. Besides, Coach would probably be much less easy to coax than Ellis was...  
This wasn't just excuses, he thought. If he could pull it off, maybe Nick could convince Ellis there was some fun to be had.  
The gambler fell asleep to the promise that the bedsheets would be cleaned in the morning.

He had something of a plan. It was going to take some good ol' fashioned manipulation, but it could be done; Nick had to covertly ask Ellis to have sex with him. He just had to wait for the opportunity.  
After Nick came up from the basement he found the boy in question lying on the couch adjacent to the dining room. He was on his back with his hat over his face, sleeping soundly.  
Nick looked around. The house was dead silent.  
Slowly, he turned to Ellis and lifted the hat from his face, revealing a surprisingly gentle expression.  
Tossing the hat onto his stomach Nick gave his face a light slap, "C'mon. Wake up."  
A groan and a hand to his face and Ellis was awake, sitting up.  
"...S'a real hard couch... Feels like I was sleeping on a headstone," he coughed lightly, looking up, "...Morning, Nick."  
"Let's make breakfast," a hand beckoned.  
Soon they were discovering the kitchen's breakfast contents, standing around the oven and agreeing on what to make.  
"Ever have egg-in-a-basket?" Ellis asked, pulling out a carton from the fridge.  
"...What?"  
"Egg-in-a-basket. Here, I'll show ya," the Mechanic grinned, taking a piece of bread and laying it on the counter. As he pulled a glass from the overhead cabinet Nick was distracted a second by Ellis' curly brown hair being stuck up on one side.  
He pushed the glass' rim onto the piece of bread, effectively cutting a circle through it. Picking up the bread, he looked at Nick through it.  
"Watchin' sofar?"  
"...Oh. Oh, yeah."  
A frying pan was placed on top of the oven, on a heating damper.  
"Aw shit, I forgot to butter it. Here, Nick," he handed the holed bread to him, "Butter this on both sides."  
"Both sides?" Nick sounded a little incredulous but obeyed. Ellis instructed him to put it in the frying pan, and after a minute or so the younger cracked an egg and let its contents into the bread's circle-hole.  
"See?" Ellis smiled at the gambler.  
Nick balked a little, "What's the difference between this... and egg-on-toast?"  
"What's the difference?" Ellis echoed in disbelief, "The egg is _inside_ the toast!"  
The other man just shook his head, "Whatever you say."  
They made a few more of them, and after Coach and Rochelle emerged from their sleeping places they were handed some.  
Coach was enthused, but when Nick passed a plate to Rochelle she was suspicious.  
"Breakfast made by Nick? The same Nick we came to this house with? The same Nick that was here last night?" She froze in place, holding the plate and smiling.  
Nick's voice cracked, "Don't look at me, this was Ellis' idea," he sat down to eat, too.  
"Ah... I see. Thank you, Ellis."  
As they all sat at the table, eating egg-in-toast Nick thought about his plan more. As the day wore on he didn't find much opportunity to strike up any sexual conversation.  
He tried to stay around Ellis, in case a chance arose.

Nick eventually found himself on the side-veranda with Ellis. The sun cast a blue shadow over the entire face of the building in the indian-summer.  
The gambler pushed over a small container of bug-ridden rain water and watched it drain between the porch's floorboards.  
"...Man, they got outta here so fast they left laundry on the line."  
Ellis pointed Nick's attention to blankets on the clothesline, flapping in the breeze.  
"...Must be lonely, living out here all by yourself," the young man commented, after a moment of silence.  
Nick leaned on the banister nearby, "Not many ways of having fun out in the middle of nowhere. Wonder what else they did."  
"Well," Ellis leaned against the patio's railing, his voice getting somewhat low, "...There was a bunch a' used condoms in the garbage in the laundry room..."  
Nick almost burst laughing as the other's mouth moved to one side of his face. Could this be it?  
Something flicked on inside Nick's brain, stirred like dust in water. A mendacious spirit, filled with scorn. His treacherous core rode up his spine and seized his tongue, ever ready. If he could... take this conversation somehow... then...  
Nick laughed lightly, "Everyone's got needs, huh," he leaned back and raised a knee, "I know the feeling."  
Ellis looked at him with a guarded expression, a bit of a sarcastic smile, "...Ain't been long for you, Nick. 'Least that's my guess."  
A slight look of surprise, "What do you mean?"  
The Mechanic pointed to his neck. The older man turned his head slightly.  
"This? Doesn't mean anything. Nothing happened, trust me."  
Ellis looked unconvinced.  
"What, you've never had a hickey before?" Nick laughed, "...I could show you. It's not that hard."  
Ellis' entire body deflated for a moment, "...I bet it ain't."  
The gambler laughed again, pleased to be teasing him.  
"Aw, screw you, Nick. You can't talk serious about nothin'," Ellis shook his head and turned away from him, leaning against the railing and looking out into the field of tall grass.  
"...Wait a second, did you just say you were gonna give me a hickey?" Turning his head he gave Nick a suspicious glance.  
Nick pretended the idea didn't strike him beforehand, “Hell, why not?"  
Ellis sighed in disbelief of the other man's ignorance, "Because we're both guys, Nick."  
"You find that weird?"  
A suspicious expression, "...You don't?"  
Nick gave an unassuming shrug.  
Ellis then turned entirely towards him, voice going low again.  
"...Nick, are you _home-a-sexual?_ "  
He tried not to burst into a laugh, "I mean... I have... well, had sex with another man."  
Ellis looked infinitely surprised. He thought for a moment, visibly.  
"...I've heard it hurts."  
A crooked grin came over the gambler, "It can. Feels... really good, though. I mean, I won't force you into anything... but if you're okay with it, we could... I don't know, do something."  
Surprise still etched into his face, Ellis turned back slowly.  
After some silence Nick stood away, "Anyway, it's just a suggestion."  
Before Nick left, Ellis spoke up, "...Just let me... think a bit."  
As he walked back inside the house Nick's face lit up with a toothy smirk.

The day wore on, and they had several meetings on their course of action, the rationing of their food and other things. Night fell. Nick snuck off to the basement room for some down-time.  
Soon, though, he heard the door to the basement open slowly and close after someone stepped in. Feet shuffled a little at the top of the steps and he knew who it was.  
"...Nick? You down there?" His voice was quiet.  
"I sure am."  
Ellis trekked down to the foot of the stairs. Upon seeing Nick sitting at the edge of his bed he stopped and looked up at the closed door. His blue eyes moved back to the waiting gambler.  
"Nick... can we... talk for a sec?"  
Nick nodded, patting the bed next to him, "Yeah, sure. Go ahead."  
After a moment of hesitation Ellis carefully sat down next to him.  
There was an awkward quietness between them as Nick waited, looking at the other man.  
"...I should just... get to the point," the mechanic's palms flipped open on his knees before he reached up to remove his hat, "Nick, I'm a brave man, but... I don't think I'm really ready to... put anything in my butt."  
Nick's eyes widened for a moment, possessed body-over with surprise. He laughed a little.  
"I-I didn't say anything about putting something in your butt, Ellis!"  
Ellis looked at him, obviously confused and a bit embarrassed at Nick's laughter.  
"Why you gotta laugh?"  
“Listen,” Nick grinned at him, pointing at himself, "How would you feel... about screwing me?"  
Ellis was still confused.  
"...You... want me to have sex with you?"  
"Sure thing."  
"Wait...” The mechanic seemed to lean closer, “Say that to me. Ask me."  
Nick was quiet for a moment. He blinked.  
"Alright, Ellis... Will you fuck me? Please?"  
The younger man jumped a little, eyes bright. Something crawled over his skin, leaving his face a bit red.  
"N-Nick, I... well... I'm real flattered, y'know, that you're askin' me of all people," his hands were tight on his knees, "Can I... do something? I've been wanting to do it for a long time."  
For the life of him, Nick couldn't imagine. "...Do what?" He asked.  
Arms gently reached out, moving under Nick's. He was pulled into a warm hug.  
Breath held, Nick put his hands on Ellis' back, if not out of pure social instinct, even as the shock of feeling another chest pressing against his own paralyzed him. The physical contact, even, was not as jarring as the sentiment.  
He was really unaccustomed to being embraced. He wasn't the kind of person who got hugged a lot.  
After a moment he felt Ellis' warm breath against his neck, the warmth of his chest seeping into his own, Ellis' deceptively broad back under his hands...  
A voice came from over his shoulder, "...You smell real nice, Nick."  
Ellis pulled back and their faces became surprisingly close. Did Ellis want to be kissed? They looked at each other's faces for a minute before the gambler decided to move closer.  
Lips touched and pressed together gently. Nick felt the motion returned and softly continued, a hand experimentally reaching up to Ellis' hair.  
The mechanic's breathing became heavy as their kisses deepened. When Nick sent his tongue into Ellis' mouth the younger man made a quiet, needy sound. A hand trailed up his chest. Nick pushed him against the bed.  
"Oh--" Ellis felt Nick's crotch press against his own, "...Jesus Ch-raist, Nick--"  
A golden-ringed hand crawled down his pants, inciting a gasp, "Ah!" The mechanic froze in place, "'The heck are you doing?!"  
"What does it look like I'm doing?"  
"Take it easy, Nick!" Ellis tugged at the older man's arm, "You might be used to this kinda stuff but I ain't!"  
With a sigh through his nose Nick removed his hand and pressed it to the bed next to Ellis' face, "Alright."  
The gambler noticed with some pride that the one under him was having an erection.  
"So, Ey-lus..." his white teeth bared in a condescending smile, "Are you a _home-a-sexual?_ "  
"You're the meanest of the mean, Nick," Ellis gave a frown, "Why, with your charmin' wiles you could get any man hard."  
Nick laughed to himself in an effort to deflect the sarcasm, "Guys don't usually like it when I ask them to fuck me."  
"...You know..." a glance aside, his voice low, "...Yer really the only man I've been this close to. So I don't know."  
"What, you never got into Keith's pants? I thought you guys were pretty tight," Nick smirked, his eyebrows raising.  
"Don't be stupid, Nick. I'm tryin' to be serious here."  
The man over him bent in for another kiss. Their lips pressed together once, and Ellis shied away.  
"...Maybe this isn't such a great idea..."  
"Wait, wait," Nick leaned back a little, "I'll go slower, just... give me another chance, okay?"  
The boy under him was already regretting his decision, "...Yeah, alright."  
Carefully, Nick bent to kiss him again, warming him to his touch. The gambler lowered to rhythmically grind into Ellis' pelvis and felt the motion returned.  
"...Mind if I... get to my shorts?" Nick asked between breaths.  
Ellis nodded, eyes squeezed shut, "Hold on... me too."  
They both removed their shirts and pants. Nick went so far as to take off his socks. When he moved over Ellis again he noted a hesitant observation.  
"You are..." the mechanic shook his head lightly, "A lot hairier than I imagined."  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Nick asked dryly, fully aware of the dark fur that ran over his chest and down his stomach, "You don't like it? Most girls say it's a plus."  
"I don't really care what most girls think."  
"Good," A moment and Nick's hands were over Ellis' wrists as he kissed him over and over. Legs shifted and he started to press his butt onto Ellis' erection. Feeling the hotness of it his body pulled at his hips, stirring his lust and pushing him into dry-humping.  
His eyelids fluttered somewhat, "Ohh... Jesus Christ..." Knees risen, he felt the ridge of the other man's cock between his legs, stroking his hole through the material.  
Ellis' lips parted idly as he caught sight of Nick's hard dick through his shorts.  
"...You... really want this, don't you...?" He panted.  
"Just... mmnh...!"  
Nick scrambled to get his shorts off, regardless of Ellis.  
"Let's do it," he barked, ignoring Ellis' staring, "Let's fuck."  
The mechanic looked a little bashful, "Ah... O-Okay..."  
Carefully he sat up and removed his shorts, awkwardly aware of his own hardness and battled against the incentive to bring his knees up to hide himself.  
"...Bein' naked is awfully embarrassing..."  
"I like it," Nick chirped, reaching under the bed for the lubrication.  
"Wh...What's that?"  
"Something that'll make this easier."  
The container was opened and the gambler stuck his fingers inside. There was a sharp gasp, "Cold!" as Nick smeared the stuff on Ellis' length.  
"I take it you don't mind if I touch," slimy, wet fingers pulled lightly on the mechanic's cock, a thumb massaging the underside. Ellis' entire body shivered at the contact.  
Nick's hand began firmly pumping him, and to his surprise Ellis' hand moved to his own dick to return the favor.  
Noticing his surprise Ellis glanced at Nick's face, "...This is just... polite..."  
As they worked each other Ellis' head drifted to Nick's shoulder and the elder felt a hot tongue on his neck. Both their bodies were filled with a flooding, electric lust, their breaths hot and quick. Ellis let a wanting sob escape, a bit loud for Nick's tastes. He froze immediately, waiting for a sound from upstairs in case someone heard them.  
"...Don't forget that... we're not alone here..."  
Ellis nodded, quick and apologetic.  
The gambler gave him a reassuring kiss before pushing him back on the bed. He was achingly hard but he suddenly remembered something he'd said earlier and proceeded to tease Ellis' neck, planting his lips just below his jaw, and began suckling the mechanic's skin.  
"Ohh... N-... Nick..."  
Nick leaned back and caught Ellis' lust-lidded and tranquil face.  
He huffed, "Anyone... tell you... how... cute you are..." before pressing his lips against the other's and pushing his tongue against Ellis'. An anguished moan sounded through the mechanic's throat as Nick's fingers teased his cock's tip with his thumb.  
The gambler pushed himself up onto his knees and started to get in position. Holding the head of Ellis' dick to his opening he glanced towards the younger man's face for permission. Ellis nodded trepidly.  
It was a tight fit-- his teeth gritted against the hot pain as he pushed past the ridge of Ellis' length, feeling the mostly-unfamiliar fullness inside him. He pulled out, and pushed in again, easing his flesh around it. The feeling was intoxicating.  
Soon enough he slowly buried Ellis' cock deep inside himself, as far as it could go.  
"...Shit...!" Nick huffed, a delirious grin tugging at his mouth. It had been far too long since he'd felt this.  
Ellis' back arched with his eyes squeezed shut against the overwhelming waves of pleasure as Nick rode him in a steady rhythm, his hands in a bruising grip on the mechanic's shoulders. Between all of it, Ellis' voice had turned into a husky whimper, "A-Ah--!"  
"Mn, god... damn...!" The gambler's hips rocked, pulling out and pushing back on Ellis amid the blazing heat, "Ah... C'mon... fuck me."  
In silent agreement Nick pulled Ellis up and they rolled Nick onto his back. The eldest gave an obvious look, grinning and deliberately licking his upper lip as his legs wrapped around Ellis' back. His coal-black hair was messy with strings of it over his forehead.  
Ellis tried to ignore him-- even if Nick was attractive his smarmy attitude sure wasn't. Still... It wasn't like he wanted to stop.  
Hot breath filled the air in the tiny basement room as Ellis thrust into Nick over and over, the bed creaking against their movement. As Ellis bent in to give the gambler a deep kiss there was a peculiar sound; the sound of a door opening at the top of the steps.  
"What the hell is going on down there?" A decidedly suspicious, female voice asked.  
They froze. Ellis gave Nick a panicked look that seemed to say _this is your fault, Nick!_  
Nick just rolled his eyes, a gooey smile still on his face and absolutely drunk with euphoria.  
"Nnh," he moaned, suddenly aware of his penetration, "...We're having a fight."  
There was a moment of silence.  
Ellis glared daggers around the room before trying to help the situation, "We're just... workin' out our differences... is all."  
"Don't come down," Nick barked, "My nose is bleeding. It's embarrassing. You don't want my nose blood on you, do you?"  
Ellis rolled his eyes at Nick's excuses.  
More awkward silence. Then Rochelle laughed a little, incredulous.  
"Alright then," an unsure tone in her voice, "Just, uh... don't kill each other, I guess."  
She left, closing the door behind her.  
"Ah thought you were a gambler," Ellis hissed, "You can't lie for shit."  
"Hey, she's gone, isn't she? I did my job, now you do yours," a hand reached behind Ellis to grab his butt, inciting a surprised gasp, "C'mon, give it to me."  
Ellis puffed his cheeks and grabbed Nick's shoulders. One hump and the door at the steps was open again. They were absolutely still.  
"You sure you guys are okay?"  
The gambler faced the general direction of the voice, "Yes, we're fine," he growled.  
"You sure you don't need--"  
"We're sure!"  
"...Well, alright, I guess."  
The door closed again.  
Both glanced at each other before Ellis carefully pulled from Nick and walked awkwardly up the basement stairs to lock the door. When he returned he found Nick on his knees with his ass propped up and a buttery grin on his face, half-buried in his pillow.  
"Hmm..." he purred, a lazy hand searching his stomach.  
Ellis crawled over him, still not entirely sure what lead to this. He curled over the gambler and smoothed his tough fingers over his hips.  
"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon," Nick mumbled into the pillow, pushing his butt into Ellis' stomach. The younger sighed through his nose and rose to penetrate him again.  
As he pushed in Ellis felt a moan rumble through Nick's chest. He began rolling his hips in a quick rhythm and Nick rose to his elbows, craning his neck in ecstasy and panting with each thrust.  
"God...damn...!" The gambler huffed, bucking lazily in time with Ellis' movement. One of his hands drifted to Ellis', still resting upon his hip, and lead it between his legs, to his throbbing cock.  
Ellis got it, _this is called a reach-around_ , he hazily thought as his fingers pulled against Nick's hot flesh.  
They continued, hot and quick, until Nick's entire body tensed up and he came with a loving whimper, ejaculating on the bed's sheets and over Ellis' hand. He sighed from the bottom of his heart as Ellis came too, slowly slumping over the gambler and breathing heavily.  
After a moment Ellis moved, "...That... felt... really good..."  
Removing himself from Nick he gasped through his nose, in panic.  
"Ah... Ah didn't mean to--"  
"...Huh?"  
The mechanic swallowed, nervous, "D-Did ya want me to... pull out?"  
"Wait... What?" Nick rolled over to look him in the face.  
"Well, ah..." He gave an apologetic look and pointed at Nick's butt.  
The gambler just shook his head, "Whatever... I'll figure it out."  
A weak, repentant smile flashed across Ellis' face as he lowered to cuddle Nick. The elder raised an eyebrow, uncomfortable when the other nuzzled their face into his neck. An arm moved under his and pulled his shoulder to Ellis. The boy's curly, brown hair tickled his face and it suddenly dawned on him that he'd just slept with that same irritating hick that hit him in the face with a Sniper Rifle yesterday.  
He shivered and pushed Ellis away, who reacted with confusion.  
"I just remembered who you are," Nick crowed, settling his limbs against Ellis before shoving him off the bed. He landed with a thud on his back.  
"The hell is wrong with you?!" Ellis growled, getting up off the floor with some difficulty.  
"Get out," the gambler sat up, pulling a sheet over himself, "Don't feel special just because we had sex."  
"This what you do to err'body you fuck?! Jesus Christ!"  
"I mean it, get out."  
"Y'know, make no wonder you're such a lonely guy."  
" _Get out._ "  
"Why would anybody wanna be around an insecure, self-despisin' asshole like you!?"  
Nick gave a terrible frown, "You wanna fight or something, you little shit-nugget?"  
"We really gonna fight? For real?" Ellis pulled his shorts on and waved towards himself, "Well c'mon, bring it, Nick."  
"I've always wanted to punch you in the face, Ellis."  
Nick got off the bed and brought his fists up.  
Then they fought.  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Early in the morning, just after sunrise Nick woke from a deep sleep.  
He quietly snuck upstairs to the bathroom before anyone else was awake, as to avoid any confrontation. He was a mess from last night's events.  
On his way he spotted Ellis, asleep on the couch in the living room. Nick looked upon his face almost reluctantly; his decidedly gentle expression as he slept was contrasted by a black eye and a cracked lip. The gambler's jaw and collarbone ached with spite in recognition.  
Ellis' careless, sleeping face made him look even younger than he was.  
When Nick got undressed in the bathroom he noted a crustiness in his pants as he stripped them off. He was casually disgusted by anything that smelled pugnant, really, and he forced upon himself the prospect of cleaning his butthole as much as he could. Next time... _if there was going to be a next time,_ they would use a condom.  
Nick sunk into the hot waters again, his rough hands moving over his shoulders to spread its warmth. The bath spewed mist into the room in the early morning-- Nick assumed the cold air that permeated the whole house in the morning most likely came from the Gulf that wasn't too far south from where they were, in extremely south-west Louisiana.  
Aside from the sound of the water moving around him as he prodded the opening in his ass, there was the ever-ambient sound of crickets, or frogs, or _something,_ from the window. He stopped, and peacefully turned to the window to see the sky turning a pale blue against the blazing white of the morning sun.

_Tmp, tmp, tmp, tmp,_ Nick moved as swiftly as he could up the staircase from his occupied room with the sheets of the bed in his arms. He took more time than he thought in the bath and the other people in the house began to stir when he came out.  
He strode into the laundry room and threw the dirty sheets into the washer and prepped the machine. Sighing, he left the room, turned a corner and bumped into Rochelle.  
They gave each other a quiet look.  
"...You're up early," Rochelle observed, "Doin' laundry, too."  
Nick immediately barked, "The sheets, they were dirty. Dirty before I even got in them. They were."  
"...Alright...?" She gave him a suspicious smile and observed the bruise on his face before continuing to the kitchen.  
Nick could hear Rochelle talking to Ellis as she passed by the living room, "Looks like you gave him hell, Ellis."  
"I... _yawn_... did what now? Wait, _what?_ "  
"The bruise, on his face."  
"Ohoho! Oh, ho ho ho. Ho yeah. Right."  
Nick grinded his teeth in frustration. He really didn't think this through enough.  
After they had breakfast Coach called everyone to the kitchen table for a meeting. The purpose was simple: to decide their next course of action.  
"We've got a few problems that we gotta address," Coach said as he turned towards each person at the table, "We don't got much ammo left, the food in this house ain't gonna last forever, and we don't know how long electricity and water's gonna be around here."  
"I guess it would make sense to cut it all if nobody's living here," Rochelle added.  
"That brings me to this suggestion." Coach picked up the letter on the table from CEDA.  
"We can go to Texas, where the owner of this house went, and join the military there."  
Ellis and Rochelle were attentive, but Nick, sitting at the end of the table and cutting an apple with a paring knife, gave a frown.  
"Fuck the military."  
They all shot him a look.   
Rochelle gave an unimpressed expression, "Nick."  
"I don't trust them, and none of you have a reason to, either."  
Nick continued, "In case you all forgot, I'm gonna remind you: we're carriers. We're a threat to humanity."  
Ellis tried to appeal, "But Nick, if we're immune to the virus they can make some sort a' vaccine outta us, right?"  
Nick casually pointed at Ellis with the knife, "If they already know what 'carriers' are, then they've already captured people like us."  
"You think they're gonna kill us?"  
"Or lock us up for the rest of our lives. Nobody can be sure that we won't spread the virus among people who think they're safe. If there is a threat, they're going to eliminate it. That's the point."  
"Then what do you suggest we do?" Coach's voice was dry with impatience.  
"What the hell else besides wait this out? The infected can't live forever," a slice of apple met the gambler's teeth.  
"Did you even listen to what I just said?" The eldest shook his head, "We can't just exist on what's in this house."  
"Didn't somebody suggest coming here in the first place so we could fish in the Gulf?"  
"You think you're just gonna grab a fishing rod and stand on the beach and catch fish? There's a _dead zone_ that goes for miles from the shore of Louisiana right into the Gulf! We'd have to get a boat, and then sail for miles just to find good water."  
“Then go. Throw yourselves at the fucking cops and see what it gets you.”  
The knife in Nick's hand was slapped onto the table, and he got up to immediately leave. The other three survivors watched him disappear into the house, out the back door. _Kree-chack!_  
Rochelle smoothed her hand over her forehead and sighed.  
"So long as somebody doesn't agree, we're stuck here," Coach assured, leaning back.  
Ellis raised his head, surprised.   
"You guys don't wanna... abandon Nick?"  
"If we were gonna _abandon_ him," Rochelle laughed lightly, "Don't you think we would've done it long ago?"  
The mechanic stared at the table for a minute before turning to Coach and Rochelle.  
"...You guys are the best," he said hurriedly, earnestly, getting up from the table to follow Nick.

As the storm door creaked close, Ellis quietly approached Nick. He was leaning against the wooden railing of the back porch, away from him, with a blaze of sunlight reaching over the blue of his shoulders and his black hair, illuminating the waves near the back of his neck.  
"Nick?" Ellis took cautious steps across the porch.  
" _What,_ " came Nick's voice, flat with annoyance. He turned his head to glare at the mechanic as he came close.  
"We... We ain't gonna leave you by yerself, y'know," trying to be comforting, Ellis gave him a concerned expression.   
Nick just huffed, turning back to the field of long, dead grass and wild wheat that stretched out before a wall of trees.   
"It's us versus..." Ellis leaned against the rail, too, "...maybe millions of people. Zombies. We can't just leave you to fight for yerself."  
"...Just--" Nick was cut off by a rustling in the grass, not too far away from the house.  
Both he and Ellis froze, staring into the brush. Ellis rose one hand, then remembered his rifle, which had no ammo and currently sat inside next to the front door. He was unsure what to do in case it was what they thought it was.  
"Nick," He whispered, trying to divine how he was going to react. Nick didn't move.  
Two small birds flew from the brush in a hurry as the grass swayed, a little far from them. Then there came a low, low growl that drew into a long, abyssal snort.  
"In," Ellis grunted before he hurried Nick back into the house as uniformed and quick and quiet as possible.   
After they quickly closed the door Nick leaned up against it to try to stare out the window, although the grass was obscured by the veranda.  
"...This is what we get for shacking up in the countryside. What the hell was that?"  
Ellis laughed a little, "You ever seen a mountain lion, Nick?"  
“ _What?_ ” Glancing at the other man in disbelief, Nick turned back to the window to stare through it. “Fuck the boonies. I'd rather see a damn zombie.”  
“I dunno, cougars don't always chase people on sight,” Ellis grumbled, “Well, just... most the time.”  
Nick couldn't help but feel a single puff of laughter come out of his stomach. When it seemed like there wasn't any threat to be seen in the bush, Nick turned back, leaning against the door to sigh and look at Ellis. Ellis waited, just watching Nick for a moment, and listened as he talked.  
"Ellis... do you remember when you said you've never been close to a man like you have with me?"  
"Yeah," Ellis nodded, curious as to where Nick was going with this.  
"Well..." the gambler glanced around, unsure if he should actually say what he wanted to. He decided against it at first, but thought about Ellis and how he should finish what he started, really, and not make him wait.  
"I've never..." he was bursting with embarrassment, and Ellis could probably tell. His mouth opened a little, but nothing came out. A look of shyness glanced across his face as he stared at Ellis.  
The mechanic blinked, staring back.  
"You've never..."  
"...I've never been..."  
He took a sharp breath and sighed.  
"I can't do it," Nick stepped forward, moving to leave the porch before Ellis grabbed his arm.  
"No, wait, wait!"  
He pulled him back and Nick backed up, pressing his back against the wood-paneled wall. His expression was brimming with self-consciousness.   
Ellis' lips pressed closed as he looked the other man in the eye. They were both quiet.  
"Tell me what you were gonna say."  
After a moment the gambler complied.  
"...I haven't really been this close either," Nick confessed with a hushed voice, "To a man, I mean."  
"I thought you said you had sex with another guy," the mechanic said lowly.  
The older man nodded, "He was more of an... acquaintance, maybe. I don't know, I guess I thought he was... pretty cute at the time. Man, listen to me."  
"You always this gooey when your life flashes before yer eyes?" The younger laughed.  
Nick just tried to smile and quietly, pathetically laughed. How else would he let people in, if they weren't defending each other from being brutally killed every day? It came down to two questions: how could anyone _not_ become close after all this, and was all this what it took for others to become close to him?  
There was a sudden pang of hot pain through Nick's chest. He pushed Ellis away and swallowed hard. Frowning, he turned, leaving the porch and a slightly confused young man behind.

There was a possibility that Nick only spoke his mind because he was just relieved that what was out there was "only" a cougar and not, in fact, a zombie. Ellis contemplated on this. He, too was relieved. So maybe they both were.  
Ellis' brows knit as his thoughts moved to Nick's coldness-- it was obvious that he had a lot to hide: a lot of hate and a lot of pain.  
And because of this, he was a colossal asshole. Ellis didn't know if he wanted to deal with it all, frankly. But it was evident that he cared, at least to some degree, and that was enough to damn Ellis to their relations.   
He could not, in good conscience, leave Nick alone.  
Ellis sunk into the couch, alone in the living room. He sighed and slowly moved to lie on his side.  
Half-heartedly he began staring at the coffee table, now level with his face. There were crumbs next to the table's ugly, teal runner. Beyond it and fuzzy was an old tube-TV, silent and half-covered in shadow beyond the glare of the upstairs light.   
He sighed, blowing through his lips. The house was very quiet.   
_Anyone tell you... how... cute you are?_  
A memory of holding Nick tight as they hugged, feeling the rigidness of the other man before he accepted the affection.   
_...I haven't really been this close, either._  
Thinking of his smell, his gentle kisses. There wasn't much outside that to look fondly on.   
Ellis turned his face, nuzzling frustratedly into the couch seat and growling. There was a side of Nick, just one side that he liked.  
He really liked. That he was willing to suffer for.  
Because being around Nick while his defenses were up, was _suffering._  
His visible eye shot open as he felt someone sit at the end of the seat next to his butt. It was Coach, thankfully.  
"You gonna watch some TV? Or a movie or somethin'?"  
Ellis sat up, picking up his hat from the floor and putting back on his head.  
"Nah... I'm kinda' hungry, come to think of it."   
Coach just shrugged as he got up to turn on the TV.   
Ellis sulked out, and turning a corner to the kitchen, he bumped into Nick. They took a step back from each other, studying each other's expressions.  
"I just keep bumping into people today," Nick's voice was thick with disinterest as he raised a beer to drink from.  
Ellis' eyebrows knit, "Where'd you get that?"  
"None of your business," Nick smugly replied.  
The gambler went to snub his way away but Ellis stood in his path.  
"Where'd you get the beer, Nick?"  
Nick tilted his head slightly, his brows in a frown, "What's your problem, _kid?_ "  
A fire of anger caught in Ellis' stomach, moving through his chest like a wave. This insolence, this lack of intimacy! Usually Ellis would brush it off, but Nick's impersonal rudeness was just too much to bear right now.   
He had an idea, how to break the gambler's overconfidence-- Ellis threw his arms open and grabbed Nick, pulling him into an embrace. Nick, as usual, was petrified by the contact.  
"...Wh-What are you doing-?!" He hissed, eyes wide and searching for witnesses.  
Ellis just held him tighter, his hands pressed firmly on the other man's back. He could feel his heart beating through his chest. Nick's speech was a vibration through his very lungs.  
"...In Savannah we kinda' had this saying... 'Love your enemies to death.'"  
"I don't give a shit what they said in Savannah, let go of me!"  
Nick pushed Ellis away as the mechanic gave him an expression of pained honesty.  
"Nick, y'know, to me that was quality time we spent in your room!"  
"Would you shut up?!" Nick glanced around again.  
"Hell naw, I ain't ashamed of it! C'mon, we were bondin'! Ownin' up to that ain't nothin' to be ashamed of."  
"If you don't shut your goddamn dumb mouth right now, I'll tie you to a cinder block and throw you in the ocean!"  
Ellis' hands dropped to his sides. He took a step back.  
The gambler pointed a finger at the young man, "Listen, _Ellis_ ," he whispered, "Just because we _fucked_ , that doesn't mean you _know me_ , alright?"  
"Nick..." Ellis gave him a stern look, "...You told me you were never closer to anybody than you were with me."  
The elder's brow twitched.  
"So _nobody_ knows you? You gotta be... one lonely guy then, Nick."  
Nick glared at him and growled, "...What the hell do _you_ know?"  
 _Thump._  
They froze, glancing around.  
 _Thump, thud._  
They walked from the kitchen and saw Coach and Rochelle confused as well, noting that if it was indeed not Ellis or Nick, then none of them knew what the source of the sound was.  
 _Thump! Thump!_  
There came the sound of cracking wood. A door was broken. A guttural snarl.  
Each of them fell into immediate, familiar action as they realized what was happening. They all split up.  
Nick ran to the staircase that led to the basement room. As quickly as he could he grabbed his AK from under the bed and ran back up-- there was a _smash_ \-- the door in the furnace room had been broken through. There was one more door for it to go through, at the top of the stairs, next to Rochelle's chosen room. She ran up the stairs as the next door was assaulted and Coach called out for her as she disappeared inside to fetch her Magnum.  
Ellis had a pan in his hand from the kitchen and scrambled to the foot of the stairs leading to the upper floor, waiting. They were all a little messy, it seemed, and out of practice.   
The sound of feet, feet, running up the stairs of the furnace room. As he readied his AK, aiming at the door, Nick felt a bitter and familiar pain in his stomach.  
Rochelle ran back down the hall facing the door. She crouched at the end, pointing her Magnum at the entrance as hands pounded against it.  
One broke through in a growling rage. A single shot from her gun and the zombie fell flat before Rochelle and blood splattered up the wall.   
A second one came in straight after the first. Nick sent one bullet searing through its skull. _16_ , he thought.  
Another came in. A gunshot, the sound of a pan. Blood shot across the walls.  
Everything was quiet for a moment before Coach ran up the stairs to get his shotgun.  
"Is that all of 'em?!" He asked hurriedly.  
The three of them rushed to the door after Coach to look inside. The flimsy wooden door was demolished, but there appeared to be nothing else.   
They relaxed somewhat and stepped back.  
Their time of peace was over.

The dining room table was covered in nails. Pieces of the wood from the furnace room were nailed over every window and door. The house was deadly silent and terribly dark, save for the few lights on around the place.   
Nick lay in the empty bathtub in his white suit and blue shirt. He stared absently at the tile wall, trying desperately to grasp some semblance of the peace he'd felt there before. His AK was leaned against the wall next to him. He looked to the window which had been completely covered and nailed over some hours ago, then back at the wall.   
There was a knock at the door.   
"Come in."  
The knob turned and let in a quiet Ellis, who had his rifle in arm. The door closed behind him.  
"What's the news?" Nick groaned, glancing at him apathetically.  
"I dunno, Coach and Rochelle want to leave. They still wanna go to Texas."  
Nick gave a long, contemplative sigh.  
"...What do you wanna do?" The gambler asked the other.  
Ellis was quiet. Nick looked at him again, waiting for an answer.  
"Well..." the mechanic grumbled, "...Whatever you wanna do, I guess."  
The elder slowly turned his head and stared at the white tile again.   
"But Nick, I... I'm the kind of person who can't stand to be responsible for keepin' people from what they wanna do. You can see why they wanna leave, right? The way we're headed right now... it ain't no way to live. God knows how long we could be stuffed up here."  
Nick still said nothing.   
"You got something... you wanna tell me?" Ellis asked, somewhat unsettled.  
Slowly, Nick sat up in the tub and turned to the young man, one arm resting over the edge of the bath.  
"...The stuff we do together... that dies with us, alright? I mean it."  
The mechanic was surprised, "C'mon, Nick. It's the end of the world, nobody else will find out because everybody's _dead_."  
"In case you forgot, there are two other people with us," He gave a grave expression.  
Ellis blinked in disbelief, "You're... You're afraid Coach and Ro'll find out?" He laughed a bit, "Why would they care?"  
"I know what you god-damn southerners are like," the man in the suit leaned out of the bathtub, "One guy likes it in the butt, somebody finds out and suddenly he's getting shot at in the street!"  
"Well, in case you forgot, Coach and Rochelle are cool people. They ain't gonna shoot at us, because we're all _family_."  
Nick was quiet.   
"I..." He sunk into the tub, "I know, but..."  
Nick stared at the tile again.  
"...I don't want them to leave us."  
Hearing this, Ellis slowly walked to the tub and sat down next to it, rifle in hand. He leaned against the vat and sighed.

Rochelle was standing in the hallway adjacent to the downstairs door, staring at the ceiling. Nick and Ellis stopped in front of her on their way out of the bathroom.  
Nick looked up, seeing a pull for an attic staircase, "What'd you figure out where Billy's hiding Claire?"  
"...I didn't know this place had an attic," Ellis added.   
Rochelle turned to them, "You guys wanna check it out? I'm too short to reach, so I was waiting for one of you guys to show up."  
"Sure, let's do it." The mechanic stepped up, reaching towards the chord. The others stepped back as he slowly pulled the staircase down and it unfolded towards the floor. Taking a flashlight from his pocket he looked up into the opening. It was dark but the dust in the air. There seemed to be some sort of light-source, though.  
Giving each of his partners a look, the mechanic walked up the steps with each one creaking in protest.  
He poked his head up and looked around with the flashlight. There were two considerably big, dirty windows parallel with each other, and boxes upon boxes stuffed into the corners. Ellis walked up with Rochelle and Nick following.  
When Nick entered the place, he looked around with a disgusted expression, "Why am I surprised that a place like this would be so goddamn revolting?"  
Ellis approached one of the windows and wiped the grime from it. He looked outside.  
"Guys."  
Rochelle and Nick carefully walked over to where he had crouched and looked out the window as well.  
As far as they could see, two zombies wandered around absently in the distance. The three of them observed for some time.  
Nick turned, sighing. In one of the corners, wrapped in plastic was something lying in a rocking chair. His heart beat into his throat before he realized it was a fake Christmas tree. Rolling his eyes and breathing deeply, he continued to inspect the room.   
Soon, Ellis came upon a rather long chest and opened it with a creak of its hinges. There were blankets inside, and something else. He rummaged to the bottom and found an old bolt-action rifle.  
"We-heh-hello there!" He cooed affectionately. Picking it up and holding it at eye-level he opened the chamber. There was nothing inside.  
"A rifle?" Rochelle asked from across the room.   
"Yeah, don't think there's any ammo, though."  
"Probably because it's over here," Nick signaled, holding a box towards Ellis.  
They met and Ellis inspected the box, opening it and looking at the shells. Making a face he put one of the bullets in the chamber, sliding and locking the bolt. _Ka-chack_. The mechanic held the scope to his eye and aimed at the wall. Lowering the rifle he turned to Nick.  
"No magazines. These kinds of rifles are a pain in the ass."  
As Nick watched him he caught a light glance of a surprising professionalism and felt the back of his neck tingle. Seeing the young man like this was unexpectedly exciting.  
"...Y'know what," Ellis' voice rose in contemplation, "This place wouldn't be too bad a perch."  
"I guess we don't have to board up the windows this high up, too," Rochelle agreed.  
"The problem is that we're running out of food," the gambler interrupted them both, cocking his head.  
Ellis sighed and turned to the window. He crouched down next to it once more, staring outside into the distance.  
"...Ah hate that we have to do this again," he held up the scope, "Ah hate how comfortable a gun feels in my hands."  
Rochelle put a hand on his shoulder, "We all hate it, Ellis. But we've got no other choice."  
"Ah hate that we got no other choice."  
Nick chimed in, "I hate it too."  
"You hate a _lot_ of things," the lady observed before walking towards the staircase, "I'm gonna see how Coach is doing. He's trying to figure out how long we can ration the food that's left."  
She left, stepping down the staircase carefully.  
As soon as Rochelle was out of sight, Nick walked over and sat down next to Ellis.   
"...Ah guess we should be thankful we got a break at all," the mechanic contemplated, sitting back from his feet.   
He and Nick stared out the window at the zombies shambling about. Ellis slowly cocked his head, watching them.  
"Uh...Mhm," Nick began, clearing his throat. Ellis looked at him before he continued.  
"...If you wanna go to Texas... Then I'll go, too. I'm not saying I trust the military, or CEDA."  
"What do you think it's gonna be like, Nick?" The younger asked, brows furrowed.  
Nick turned to the window again, "...One of two ways, I guess. Either Port Arthur's gonna be a ghost town, or there's gonna be a room with white walls for all of us."  
"The way you put it," the mechanic's voice was low, "...I'd rather die thinking I could help somebody than get killed by zombies... or starve to death."  
They both fell quiet, staring out the dirty window.   
"Ellis! Nick!" Rochelle's voice called from downstairs. They both turned before getting up and leaving the attic. Leading them to the living room Rochelle pointed their attention to the television, rabbit ears extended from the top to catch the weak signal broadcasted from a news room of somewhere.   
All four of them stared through the white noise to listen to a report; "...Nuclear Power Plant today as an explosion of catastrophic proportions destroyed part of the city and surrounding areas. The explosion wiped all life out in an 11-mile radius. It's been reported that there was no loss of human life in the blast."  
" _What?_ A nuclear power plant exploded?!" Ellis spat in surprise.  
Nick shouted, a bitter frown on his face, "Why the hell would they carpet-bomb a plant?!"  
"Where was this?" The younger asked.  
Coach shook his head too, "Alabama. Brimingham."  
"This is bullshit. They don't give a shit as long as they get rid of the virus!"  
Coach turned to Nick, "They're gonna be choosy. If they'd bomb Brimingham before New Orleans, you can only imagine how bad it got there. Now _everybody_ , listen to me."  
They all stood attentive towards the man sitting in front of the television.  
"We got enough food here for the four of us for three days, max. We make our peace, and then get into Texas, okay? We got no other choice."  
He made a point to look Nick in the eye, who tried to deflect his stare by looking away concernedly. Each of them considered and agreed.   
"How long does everybody want to stay? We could take food with us and go," Rochelle suggested.  
"How about we stay for an extra day, then?" Asked Coach. They all reluctantly agreed.   
"Man..." the eldest stood up, "All this time I shoulda' been workin' out instead of just sittin' around."  
Ellis stretched and yawned, and Coach noticed the gun by his side.  
"Where'd you find that?"  
"Oh, in the attic. Single shot bolt-action."  
Coach made a musing expression, "This house sure did treat us well."

For the rest of the day everyone prepared to leave, looking for anything useful they could take with them.   
As Nick passed by the kitchen Rochelle called him in. She was alone.  
"Hey, Nick. I got something to ask you."  
He walked in, cautious as he could and looked around, "What."  
"...What were you and Ellis talkin' about earlier today?" She sounded a bit teasing.  
"What are you talking about?" He asked flatly, not expecting a straight answer.  
Rochelle just gave him a skeptical look, "Nick, you _know_ what I'm talking about."  
The gambler stared daggers at her. His voice became a hasty whisper, "What do you want from me?"  
"Hey," crossing her arms she continued, "You didn't think I'd find out or something? I'm not _stupid_ , boy!"  
"I didn't say you were stupid, Rochelle," Nick whispered at her condescendingly.  
"Listen, Nick. It ain't no big deal. What you guys do together, that's none of my business."  
"Does Coach know?"  
"Oh puh-lease, Nick. Of course he knows. He just pretends he doesn't."  
A knife of pain cut through Nick's chest. He thought of Coach talking to them all earlier today as if nothing happened.   
"Nick, I'm saying this so you don't have to act like you gotta fear for your life or something. Well, in regards about having sex with Ellis, I mean. Otherwise, yeah."  
His face crumpled into an embarrassed expression, caught between denying it outright or admitting it like there was no problem.  
Rochelle started giggling, "Seriously though, you... really didn't strike me as the type," she commented with some observation.  
"Don't talk to me about this ever again," the gambler commanded before storming out of the kitchen.

Nick spent the rest of the day in the basement, consumed with humiliation. He slept some, and rummaged through the desk with the typewriter on it. A dictionary-thesaurus, typewriter paper, ribbons. Nick's head quickly rose as he heard Ellis moan loudly upstairs, "I miss you, Jimmy Gibbs Junior!" He must've been in the living room, next to the basement door.  
The gambler turned back to the desk and found, at the foot of the drawer, a bullet shell with something rolled up and poked into it. Pulling it out he unfurled it and looked at it. It was a photo of a young girl with long, black hair. After he studied it for a moment, he rolled it back up and placed it back into the shell.  
Before they all went to sleep all the food in the house was packed into bags and left on the dining room table. Tomorrow they would be ready to leave.

In the morning Ellis sluggishly wandered to the bathroom and turned the doorknob to find it locked. He was about to walk away when a voice called from inside.  
"Who is it?" Asked the familiar voice of Nick.  
The mechanic stopped, turning back to the door.  
"Ellis."  
"Hold on."  
The door was unlocked.  
"Alright."  
The door opened and Ellis shuffled in, closing it behind him.   
He yawned, seeing Nick in the bathtub, chest-high in water, "...Ah didn't think we were at the level where we could just... casually see each other naked."  
"Today's a special day, Ellis," Nick told him as the younger unzipped his pants to pee, "It's the day we're probably going to get shot by the military. So I don't really consider that level to be off-limits anymore."  
After he was done, Ellis turned to the sink and brushed his teeth with his finger, "Eh-ehr-hummih-hou-hann-hoo-haa-ahout?"  
"Not really," Nick's hands rose out of the water, making splashing noises, "I just thought now would probably be the last time we'd be alone together."  
Ellis looked at Nick quietly as he moved to the edge of the tub to look at him back.   
The gambler waved towards himself, "Get in."  
"...In the tub? With you?"  
"What do you think I'm trying to say?"  
Ellis raised his eyebrows and glanced away for a moment before pulling his shirt over his head and kicking off his pants and shorts.  
He crawled into the hot water slowly, "Shit man, that's hot."  
"Not as hot as it used to be."  
Nick brought his knees up to give Ellis more space. When he was in, the water threatened to overflow onto the floor.  
"Have you bathed at all? Since we got here?" Nick asked, looking at the dirt on his face mixed with a fading black eye and a healing, cracked lip. To Nick's amusement there was still some of the hickey left on the young man's neck.  
"Here," the gambler's arm reached out, touching Ellis' face to wipe the dirt away.   
"Everybody can..." he continued, rubbing the mechanic's cheek, "...Make fun of me all they want... Just because we're immune to being zombies... doesn't mean we're immune to tetanus."  
"Life's no fun when you're so paranoid all the time," tilting his face towards Nick's hand, Ellis closed his eyes.   
"Oh Ellis. If only I could be so carefree. Alright."  
He passed the other a bar of soap. Ellis took it and started rubbing it on his shoulders and chest.  
"Nick, are you married?"  
Nick glared at him in surprise, "What? Why?"  
"You wear all those rings, I figure one of them ought to be a wedding band," Ellis glanced at him while rinsing the soap from his arms.  
"Oh, haha. No, none of them are wedding rings. No, no. What about you, Ellis," attention was deflected from himself, "I've never heard about your track record."  
The mechanic noted Nick's insincere smile, "...Ain't much to talk about, really."  
"You've never had a girlfriend?"  
"Ah have, yeah."  
Nick bared his teeth in a smug grin, "Didja do it?"  
"Yeah, we did," Ellis raised an eyebrow, wary of Nick's shit-stirring, "We kinda' just... stopped talking afterwards, though."  
"Ahh," leaning back, Nick's expression softened, "I see."  
"That guy you had sex with... what was he like?" Ellis leaned over to let the soap slip into the adjacent sink.   
The gambler stared at him with half-lidded eyes. Any trace of suaveness Nick expressed had left.   
"I don't know... I liked him, I guess. It's been a long time."  
"You don't remember him?"  
"Not really. All I recall is..." Nick slowly put his hands up, "...His hands on my wrists... His tongue in my mouth... And his dick in my ass."  
Ellis stared at him, mouth slightly agape. He blinked.  
Nick's hands moved under the steamy water again, "Let's not talk about the past."  
"Well... I'd talk about the future, but it's looking pretty grim, doncha think?" The young man gave a distant, guarded look.  
Nick's expression was cloudy, "C'mere."  
Ellis hesitantly moved over to Nick's side of the tub and was pulled into a hug, their legs in a tangle. He felt the gambler's hairy chest against his own as he threaded one arm under Nick's and the other over his shoulder, feeling his curly, black hair brush against his hand. They sat in the water, entwined with each other for a moment before Nick's fingers began moving gently through Ellis' hair.   
"Nick... d'you think you're good with women?" Came the voice over his shoulder.  
Nick just laughed, " _Ah-heh-heh._ "  
"D'you think maybe you're bad with women because you're _gay?_ "  
The gambler burst into a guffaw, " _Haaaa-ha-ha-ha!_ "   
Ellis sat back, watching him giggle and began to warily smile, himself.  
"Ah Ellis," Nick shook his head, looking back at the young man, "The government is bombing cities off the face of the planet and here we are, in the tub together. I think you might be onto something."  
They shared their laughter and for a moment they studied each other's faces. Nick leaned in.  
 _Pop_.  
The lights went out.  
Both of them sat in the darkness, eyes wide, illuminated only by the slight rays of light coming from the boarded-up window.  
They could hear Coach downstairs, "Well, that's all she wrote, folks. We're outta here."  
Ellis sat back, "Shit, for a second there ah thought I was having an aneurysm..."  
Nick sighed and slowly rose from the water, his hands on the edges of the bathtub. In a half-hour they'd be dry, dressed, and standing in the dining room, armed with guns and each with some sort of bag packed with food and supplies of any kind they could find.  
Nick with his AK, sixteen shots left. Coach with his shotgun, fourteen shots left. Rochelle, also with fourteen shots in her Magnum. She had, tied to her back, the wood-splitting axe from the furnace room. And Ellis, with an empty Sniper Rifle strung over his shoulder and the bolt-action in his hands. A box of numerous bullets was with him, with several shots stuffed into his right pockets. They took the boards from the front door with some effort, wrenching them from the entrance. The door was unlocked and Coach swung it open and stepped forward. The bright sun made them all squint as they stared out towards the vast nothingness before the sparkling Gulf of Mexico, and the road that led all the way to Port Arthur, Texas.  
They could hear the moaning of several zombies nearby, and prepared their weapons.  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

The road was long, dry, and they were all miserable. Well, Nick was miserable. Everyone else seemed to be in a state of tense caution, crouched over, guns in position. One zombie saw them and started running. Ellis took two quick steps forward, knelt down and took aim. _BANG!_ The zombie fell in the distance.  
Quick movement of his hand, palm against the bolt, back, a shell flies out, forward. _Chack!_  
Nick lifted his AK, a nostalgic awareness upon him now that he had eaten and slept well. His lips threatened to grin.  
They continued on the road, as quietly and quickly as they could. In a lull Ellis put his face closer to Nick's ear and whispered, "Wanna make a bet?"  
"...You know I can't resist a bet."  
"Let's see who kills the most zombies."  
"You're on, Ellis."  
Coach interrupted them, "Now ain't the time to be whisperin' sweet nothings, y'all."  
"C-Coach?!" Nick bellowed defensively, glaring at him before Ellis shot another zombie in the distance, "That one doesn't count!"  
"Says who?" Ellis grinned, eye behind a scope.  
"I was distracted!"  
"Gentlemen," their female comrade turned, "Please shut up."  
Nick made a face and they continued their traveling.  
It was close to an hour before they could see it-- the city of Port Arthur, and pillars of smoke billowing from it. They slowed.  
"...Shit," Coach growled, "I hope that ain't what I think it is..."  
They shared some silence before continuing. Further they walked, across a bridge, and saw the city with a makeshift wall, mostly broken down in the road forward.  
"Here," Nick motioned for Ellis' military Sniper Rifle and glared through the scope, staring into the distance. The city looked long-abandoned, and like there'd been some kind of civil war there. There was debris everywhere, small fires, garbage and bodies in the streets.  
"Ghost town," he huffed, "I toldja. We're insane to come here."  
Coach just shook his head, "We ain't gonna find peace no matter where we go, huh."  
They waited a moment before deciding to continue.  
Nick was silent as Ellis approached, putting the sniper rifle over his shoulder again, "...Ah don't get it, this whole infection thing started out east, didn't it? How'd the zombies get here before us and cause this sorta chaos already? Unless this is..."  
Nick shook his head, "It's not out of the question..."  
Up, over a long bridge they walked, until they saw the rest of the city before them; fire and smoke everywhere. The sky had suddenly become dark. Below the bridge walked a veritable sea of the undead, groaning and screaming, feeding on bodies and lying in the road. They stared, the four of them, at the destruction ahead. In the far distance they watched as a tall building started breaking apart, crumbling and falling with a faraway boom and a cloud of dust and smoke.  
Ellis tore his gaze away, feeling rain starting to fall on his arms. There was a groan and he whipped around, seeing a few of the zombies from below climbing onto the bridge behind them.  
"They're here!"  
Guns raised, they looked around. Zombies climbing up onto the sides of the bridge, behind them, before them, countless and hungry, covered in blood. Rochelle shot two before they reached the top, and as if that were a cue, an explosion of gunshots erupted around her as they all poured their lead into the undead suddenly surrounding them. More and more were coming up and Nick looked around frantically, frowning deeply as everyone shot as quickly as they could. A shower of blood fell like a light rain on them as they continued.  
"Out!" Rochelle shouted at them, "We gotta get out of here!"  
Nick took a step over a broken part of the bridge, "Here!"  
He slid down an embankment, as carefully and quickly as he could. A rock snagged his pointed loafer and he rolled forward at the end, his knee crunching into the broken stone as a white-hot pain shot up into his leg. He hissed at the stinging, “Shit!” before forcing himself up as the others followed him down. Rochelle came next, sliding on her thigh and Nick managed to catch her as she fell with a gasp with her hands on his arms. She dashed away before Ellis came down, rifle in arm and grabbed Nick's arms to slow down.  
They looked up as Coach came last after pushing some zombies back. With a gruff wail he slid down the broken-off stone and both Nick and Ellis caught him, pulling him up to stand. They glanced up to see the bridge covered in snarling undead. They scrambled, starting to climb and fall over the side of the bridge towards them and the four survivors turned, starting to run.  
They ran and ran, hearing the thunder of furious footsteps behind them, the screams of hunger and anger. Nick's heart was thudding like a jackhammer in his ears and his knee ached as they ran into a neighborhood of houses, garbage everywhere, every dark corner hiding a body. His shoes slapped against the pavement as he spotted a familiar marker-- a spray-painted white house on the side of a nearby building. He ran towards it, leading the other survivors.  
A dark alley, an arrow upward. Water in his shoes, Nick trampled the steps up the side of the building, hands pulling along the guard rails. He got to the top, threw the door open and watched as Rochelle went up the stairs as quickly as she could, passing through the door in a flash. Then came Ellis, occupying the corner of the porch there, picking off zombies as Coach ran up the stairs as fast as he could, panting hard. _BANG, crack-crack, BANG, crack-crack_. The last bullet in the chamber hit a zombie's shoulder as Coach moved through the door. Ellis followed, and then Nick, slamming the door shut behind him. He, Ellis and Rochelle pushed a desk in front of the door, then a filing cabinet on top. The roar of voices outside continued downstairs and they stepped back, panting and shaken.  
Coach took a bottle of water from the bag over his shoulder and drank it with no hesitation.  
"...Jesus... Christ... What the hell..." Rochelle huffed while straightening up from panting with her hands on her knees. She started slowly walking around, looking at their surroundings, an exhausted expression.  
Ellis leaned against the desk in front of the door, "...We barely stepped inside."  
"So that solves our mystery, I guess..." a step and the gambler laid his AK against the nearby wall, "It wasn't civil war."  
"I still don't get it," Ellis looked to him, eyebrows knit, "How long have they been here? We can't have been in that house for that long..."  
Everyone was quiet as Nick took the bag from his shoulder and put it on the floor. He looked around as Ellis shelled his as well, and saw the hallway extending parallel to the door, a single light shining into four rooms. Nick took his time walking down the hall and looked inside each room. Rochelle was in one, looking into an empty bag that'd been left there. There were mattresses on the floors of each one.  
Nick turned and bumped into Ellis. They looked at each other.  
"Mrm," Nick grumbled uncomfortably as the pain from his knee stung again and he looked down, noticing a dirty-red stain on his pants. He walked into one of the rooms and sat down on a mattress there, tugging his pants-leg up over his knee. It was bleeding fairly generously.  
He saw Ellis quickly motion to him, "One sec," and came back with a small first-aid kit they took from the cabin-house. The mechanic sat down next to Nick and cracked it open with a quiet creak, taking out a bit of cotton and some rubbing alcohol. Nick watched as he carefully poured it out and gently patted the wet cotton against Nick's knee.  
"M-Mm--," making a face the gambler grunted.  
Ellis flashed him a smile, and Nick's eyebrows moved into a faux-frown, his mouth refusing to smile back, "...What d'you want?"  
"I was scared shitless out there," he said with a grin, moving to get some gauze to bandage Nick's knee.  
"What, you're not used to this yet?" Nick laughed, "Ah!"  
"Nobody can run forever, man," a short laugh under his breath while he looped the cotton tightly around Nick's leg, "My hands were shakin', tryin'a put the bullets in..."  
Ellis blinked, breathing deep as he felt Nick's face against his neck, his head resting on the mechanic's shoulder. Ellis looked at the floor as the room suddenly became very quiet.  
"You okay?" Nick asked, looking up at his face.  
The mechanic gave him an unsure look, pouting his lower lip. He huffed from his nose.  
"Just wonderin' when this is all gonna end."  
He felt a warm hand move over his back, to his other shoulder. Another pulled against his waist towards the other man.  
Nick's voice was almost inaudibly low as he nuzzled against Ellis, "Somethin' I... I learned. Y'know, in this."  
Ellis turned slightly, pressing his cheek against Nick's head.  
"... I learned that... it really doesn't matter. What you're going through. What kind of hell you've gotta fight through, as long as you have... people. Good people.  
Friends.  
A family."  
Ellis blinked, hearing these words from Nick. He swallowed, realizing how important these words were. He moved, and Nick drew back. And in the dark he could see--  
"A-Are you cryin'?" The mechanic whispered and he heard Nick laugh, a slight quiver in his voice.  
"I... God, I'm too old to be learning this shit..."  
Ellis stared as he saw the gambler's lip move in a bite.  
His brows knit in some genuine concern, and Ellis moved forward. With some hesitation Nick let him press their lips together. A hand moved against the back of Nick's neck.  
"Mm--"  
The gambler's brows raised, still in a sad expression, feeling warmth spread through his chest. He pressed his hands against Ellis' face.  
Footsteps. Nick's eyes opened and he pushed Ellis away.  
"Ah--err," The mechanic was surprised for a second, but then gave a disappointed sigh. Nick leaned back while Ellis pretended to tighten the bandage around Nick's knee and Coach looked in through the door.  
"...There's four rooms, y'all," he laughed before entering one and throwing his bag on the floor there.  
Nick wiped his face with his sleeve. Ellis caught his expression; angry, to himself, as usual. Embarrassed again to have expressed so much.  
He glanced up to the young man in front of him. Ellis gave a concerned expression and whispered, "S'okay."  
The first-aid kit was cleaned up and Ellis left, standing in the doorway for a moment to make eye contact with Nick again before leaving. He sighed, pulling his hat from his head as he walked down the hallway to pick up his bag and guns again.  
Ellis grunted, lifting the military Sniper Rifle in one arm. He stopped for a moment, his boots crunching dirt on the floor as he listened to the rain showering down outside. 

A dream... the vague image of a massive mushroom cloud, and heat, such heat, burning his nostrils as he breathed in. Fire and force, and then everything, transformed into brittle, black bones and wiped from the face of the world. The heat, such heat-- it burned every inch of his skin.  
Nick twitched on the mattress, wrapped in a dirty blanket, his white coat folded under his head as a makeshift pillow. He made a sound as his face turned to the bed, his lips subtly parted.  
In the next room Ellis lay awake, trying to keep his shivering under control. The rain soaked his t-shirt, and unfolding the top of his mechanic's suit from around his waist and actually wearing it didn't seem to help much. The cold was seeping through the walls. Aside from the rain the apartment room was terribly silent. He could barely hear Nick thrashing in the room next to him, and wondered if he was awake.  
He debated some, but then decided to get up and see. As quietly as he could, he stepped out, turned, walked to Nick's room and opened the door a little bit. From what he could see, Nick was bundled up like a burrito, his shoed feet poking out from underneath.  
Ellis squat down next to him, seeing his bothered expression and watching him shift and twitch. One of the mechanic's hands reached out, pushing against Nick's shoulder.  
"Nick," he whispered, "Nick."  
The gambler woke with a quiet gasp, and seeing Ellis he shrunk back, eyes wide, frowning, "Ellis-?"  
"It's me, yeah."  
Nick groaned, relaxing, one hand reaching up to palm the side of his face "...Goddamn... nightmare."  
"Yeah. S'what I thought." Ellis could hear the tiredness in his voice.  
"...What're you doing here?" Nick asked, squinting into the darkness.  
"I'm turnin' into an Ellis-icle. It's freezin'," Ellis rubbed his own arms.  
Nick looked at the door for a moment before lifting up the end of the blanket a bit, "...Take that greasy thing off and get in."  
Ellis thought for half a second before starting to take his jumper off, pulling it over his shoulders and kicking his boots off. He crawled under the sheet with Nick and they settled, in contact with each other. Nick put his hand on Ellis' arm, "You're frozen."  
"I told ya," Ellis grumbled, snaking his arm under Nick's. Their legs moved among each other in a tangle and Nick sighed into Ellis' hair.  
"Better?" Nick asked, voice low.  
Ellis nodded slightly, "Mm."  
After a moment Ellis shifted a little again, and found his hand on the small of Nick's back. Something drew it down, feeling gently over Nick's butt and the gambler tensed.  
"...What are you doing?" He asked under his breath.  
Ellis apologized, "Oh, sorry. I just... I never really got to... explore your body. That sounds kinda' weird."  
Nick's lips drew into a line, "Do you wanna make me horny or what?"  
Ellis' hand moved over the other man's hip, "...Ah didn't think about it..."  
Fingers moved over Nick's stomach, feeling the material of his dress shirt, and then with some hesitation Ellis' hand pressed against his crotch, sending a white-hot heat burning in the con-man's belly. Nick gave a long, frustrated sigh, and moved his leg up for better access.  
"...We can't have sex here," he told Ellis whilst closing his eyes against the feeling Ellis' hand was giving him. The mechanic just ignored him, brought his face up and pushed his lips against Nick's. Nick reciprocated, feeling Ellis' tongue against his own.  
"Mn... Mmh-- I'm serious, i-if they hear us-- ahh shit..." Ellis' hand moved further between his legs and Nick raised his knees the best he could while lying on his side. Lips pressed against his neck and he swallowed hard.  
Soon Ellis rolled him onto his back and continued to fondle him, stopping just to pull his pants to his knees.  
"...You're not... listening to me-- ah, careful, careful..." The gauze on Nick's knee was preserved as his pants were dragged to his ankles and Ellis sat between his legs carefully.  
"You want me to listen to you?" He could hear the grin in Ellis' voice.  
Nick's mouth curled into a reluctant smile as the back of his head pressed against his folded-up coat, "Screw you, killer."  
Ellis laughed under his breath. He began to unbutton Nick's shirt from the bottom, and upon reaching the last one he pulled it open, exposing Nick's chest to the chilly air. Fingers pressed gently upon the gambler's ribs, feeling up, towards his nipples. Ellis lowered, placing his lips on one with some contemplation. Nick's fingers twitched at his side, a flustered sigh escaping his nose. A tongue upon the sensitive flesh, kisses, suckling.  
"Ah... shit..." Nick stifled a moan.  
The mechanic lifted slightly, "...If I'm doing anything wrong, just gimme a holler, 'kay. This is only my second time."  
A sigh of approval, "You're doing fine..."  
Another kiss on the man's nipple and he froze at the sudden sensitivity. Ellis rose again, "Man, just how many times have you had sex with another guy?"  
"Just... keep going. Please."  
Ellis obeyed and started carefully pulling Nick's underwear down, wary of his burgeoning hard-on. He stopped for a moment and smiled at the other man, "Make no wonder you were all cozy in here, I forgot you were fuzzy as a bear."  
Nick sighed, rolling his eyes, "This again."  
"A black bear," Ellis corrected as Nick started kicking off his loafers with some difficulty. "Ain't never heard of a black bear that liked it in the butt-- nnf," a knee in his ribs from Nick's struggling to kick off his suit-pants.  
"Why don't you put those cock-sucking lips to use, huh?" Nick barked, a dishonest grin on his face. Ellis just scratched his cheek, one eyebrow raised, "Can't say I'm ready t'do those sort of favors..."  
"Well that's not very attractive," Nick gave a sly smile as he looked at Ellis. The mechanic just continued making a confused face, "Have you done it before? I mean, ain't it uncomfortable?"  
"You didn't expect your girlfriend to do it?"  
"Ah didn't make anybody do anything they didn't want to," Ellis said firmly.  
Nick thought for a moment, "You get used to it."  
"You're used to an awful lot of things, Nick."  
"Well, that's life; _getting used to things,_ " the gambler's expression tinged with a frown.  
Ellis felt something, a sort of deep pity, like a thorn pushed into his chest. It was for the best, he decided, to follow his feelings. He crawled over Nick, the gambler slightly surprised, and gently, tenderly kissed him. Nick's frown melted away as he reciprocated, pressing his lips softly against Ellis', feeling the young man's warm hand over his collarbone.  
Ellis' arms moved over Nick's shoulders, hugging around his neck. Lips pressed against the gambler's forehead.  
A lot to hide; a lot of hate and a lot of pain. Ellis had decided that he was going to help him carry it, even if it meant suffering.  
Nick's brow furrowed, and with a little hesitation his arms moved around Ellis' back, hugging him back. And just like that Nick fell into a desperate loyalty. He sighed, feeling it to be indelible.  
They stayed like that for some time before Ellis ended the silence, "...You still want me to suck your dick?"  
Nick laughed at him.  
"Nah, but... I'd like it if you..."  
"...Made love to you?"  
"Yeah," embarrassing as it was, Nick tried his hardest to be sincere.  
Ellis kissed his face several times, "Mm, mm, mm, mm. That I can do."  
The gambler watched him as he sat back and started to get undressed. As he took his shirt off Nick took off his own shorts and tossed them to the side, lost in thought for a moment. He stopped, blinked, and looked at Ellis when he heard him humming, some song he didn't recognize.  
"You're gonna wake up Coach and Ro," he said with a disinterested smile. Ellis just kept humming, tossed his shirt on the floor and leaned over Nick to turn on the lantern near the mattress. The light stung Nick's eyes for a moment and while the mechanic closed the door the whole way behind them the tent of their heat was released and the gambler shivered.  
As Ellis returned, pulling the dirty blanket over them again Nick tensed against the chilly air, "Jesus Christ it's cold."  
Ellis raised his hands and started rubbing them on Nick's arms, "Eghh! How's that!"  
Nick couldn't help the grin on his face as he started to laugh, "Ah heh-heh-heh-heh!"  
Soon with a little struggle Ellis removed the rest of his clothes and tossed them next to his shirt. He lowered, pressing, feeling his body against Nick's.  
Hands smoothed over Ellis' back before he moved, pushing Nick's legs apart with his own. He grinded against him, rolling his hips against the other man's, feeling the heat of Nick's groin with his own super-sensitive flesh.  
A hand moved to the back of Ellis' head, bringing him close enough to receive a deep kiss from the gambler. Ellis moved back, staring into Nick's eyes.  
"...Show me," he asked, voice low.  
Nick's eyebrows raised gently, "...Show you... _what._ "  
The mechanic thought a moment before giving a conflicted expression, "I dunno what guys... do with each other. I mean, other than what we've already done."  
"It's not that complicated," Nick admitted, "Or _different_ , for that matter. But..."  
He nodded, looking away, "Let's see."  
After some movement Nick pushed Ellis back in a sitting position. The mechanic stared at the other man as he lowered, "Y-Y'don't have to..."  
"I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to," he gave a patronizing smile, "So, your girlfriend didn't?"  
"She wasn't really... that kinda' girl..."  
"Well I'm that kind of man," Nick grinned, adequately asserting his superiority over a teenage sweetheart. He moved closer to the mechanic's half-hard cock and after glancing to Ellis' nervous face he pressed his lips against it. A gasp sounded from the younger man as Nick dragged his tongue deliberately across its underside, fingers around its base, gently massaging with his thumb. After licking his lips and briefly clearing his throat Nick moved Ellis' length into his mouth carefully, feeling the head against his tongue.  
The mechanic gave a cough, "U-Uh gawd," and clenched his fingers against the sheet half wrapped around him. His toes cringed.  
Nick began sinking it deeper into his mouth in a rhythm, moving his tongue over the head purposefully. A desperate moan reached his ears as Ellis leaned back and panted deep.  
"...Jesus... Christ... Nick, ah...!" He bit his lip, trying to keep his hips under control. The hot, electric lust making everything between his legs tender and hot was only intensified by the low moans he felt from Nick's mouth. The gambler noted how hard Ellis was, regardless, he removed the cock from his mouth to catch his breath. As he did, a string of precum and spit strung from his lip. He panted, wiping his mouth with his arm.  
Ellis looked at him, panting as well, a pained expression and sweat on his brow.  
"Hah... Nick... Just... lemme fuck you... already..."  
Nick couldn't help but feel a bud of pride growing in him, and he gave Ellis a grin as he sat up. He raised a finger and briefly traced a circle in the air, "You... ever sixty-nine... with somebody?"  
Ellis just made a face, "You serious? Man, you... done everything in the book. If I... put your dick in my mouth though... It ain't gonna be as good as what you done."  
"You don't have to," Nick assured him as he reached for the bag next to his bed, and Ellis noticed his hard-on, _from giving him a blow-job?_ Barely he understood. Nick pulled a container from the bag and tossed it to Ellis-- that vaseline from the cabin bathroom.  
Ellis looked at him, a little bewildered, "You want me to..."  
"Your fingers," Nick clarified and stopped for a moment, "Y'know... You _do_ know where your prostate is, right."  
Ellis just looked at him, making a face. Nick rolled his eyes, "Here, you just..." the gambler took the other man's hand, extending his first two fingers, "Like that, and it's around here."  
"Feel like I'm goin' for a doctor's appointment," Ellis tried not to laugh as he opened the container and looked inside.  
Nick turned around and laid his head between Ellis' knees.  
"C'mon," he chimed, drawing a short downward line in the air. Ellis swallowed and crawled over the gambler, embarrassed to put his knees on either side next to Nick's head.  
"Ah!" The mechanic felt a tug on his erection, and then a hand on his butt, lowering his hips. He breathed as calmly as he could, and tensed as he felt Nick's lips move over his cock again, the warmth and wet sending that fire in his guts.  
He panted, and biting his lip again he opened the container of lubricant and plunged his fingers in it. He searched between Nick's legs, and hearing a grunt from him the gambler lifted his knees, baring his entrance. Carefully and hesitantly Ellis felt the flesh there with his fingers. He wasn't sure how Nick expected him to do this while the other man's tongue was on him, "Ahn...!" The mechanic stopped a moment, cursing, before continuing to slowly press his slick fingers against Nick's flesh. One slipped in and he froze, wondering if he was doing it right.  
He pushed it in, farther, and felt Nick tense. He pulled it out and pushed back in carefully and as coherently as he could, with another finger, then. Right, what he said about...  
Nick flinched, a wave of euphoria washing over him. His mouth left Ellis for a moment, "Ah, mnn," before pressing his tongue against the boy's cock again, licking and kissing desperately as fingers penetrated him again and again. Ellis could feel a building up inside him as he stifled a moan, "N-Nick, ah... I ain't gonna... last much longer..."  
The gambler craned his head back, removing Ellis' length from his mouth and swallowed, panting.  
"Gimme... that bag," Nick pointed. Obeying, Ellis passed it to him. As the mechanic slowly turned around and sat up Nick lifted himself from the stained mattress and passed him something--  
"Where'd you get this?" Ellis inspected the condom in his hand.  
"There was... some left over, in that house," the man under him huffed, "Use it, dammit."  
The mechanic nodded obediently, tearing the package open and trying to unfurl it over his erection as skillfully as he could-- his pulse was pounding in his ears from his exertion.  
A warm hand moved over his own, helping him. Lips pressed against his. After applying more of the lubrication to himself, Nick positioned himself over Ellis' lap and knelt up to bring the boy's cock against his entrance. As he eased himself onto it Ellis gently rested his hands on the gambler's hips, placing kisses on his chest, the sensation overwhelming his thoughts.  
Breathing deep, with their bodies covered in sweat, Nick buried Ellis' length deep, feeling every inch of the intrusion inside him. Shivers moved over his body as he gently pulled out and pushed back in, his lids fluttering shut. His fingers dug softly into Ellis' shoulders.  
"Mmn!" Nick moaned as his hips rose and fell. Ellis tried his best to guide him with his hands, gently thrusting upwards in time with the gambler's movements. Feeling the heat, the throbbing of his heartbeat throughout his body, and their sweat, he pressed his fingers against Nick's back, smoothing them over each muscle and bone. The gambler panted, one hand moving to his cock to pump it and Ellis' hand joined his.  
Soon they carefully moved Nick onto his back on the mattress and Ellis pushed into him again, gaining a bit more force. Their fingers threaded together as the mechanic pinned the other man's hands and rolled his hips again and again.  
"Shit, Nick," Ellis huffed between messy kisses. The gambler kissed him back, feeling that spot in him nudged over and over he gave a not-so-subtle moan, "Mmn, ah _god!_ "  
Neither of them particularly cared if they woke up anyone at this point, so lost in the fog of their own lust they were unconcerned about finding their way back. Both of them continued to jack Nick off in tandem with Ellis' humps and soon the mechanic came with a shudder and a warm moan snuffed by a deep kiss. He pulled on the other man's cock furiously and Nick came too, a stream of white jetting over his stomach as he tensed and whimpered, biting his lip.  
As they lay there panting, Ellis moved his arms around Nick's neck again, hugging him.  
"You ain't... gonna kick me out, are you?" He mumbled in the gambler's ear.  
Nick's eyes slowly opened, "...Sorry."  
Ellis turned his head, waiting for a moment. When he was sure that Nick wasn't going to say any more he nuzzled his face into the gambler's neck, "...I understand, Nick. No need to apologize."  
After some time Ellis lifted himself up and carefully pulled from Nick, earning an uncomfortable grunt from him. He pulled the condom off and laid it on the floor near the mattress, not entirely sure of what to do with it with no garbage can around.  
He glanced at Nick who sat up slowly, one hand smoothing the stray hairs from his forehead. The gambler looked at him back, and they stared at each other for a moment before Nick unfolded his coat and started checking the pockets. Ellis couldn't quite discern his expression.  
"...Here we go," Nick tossed a small package of tissues to Ellis. The mechanic nodded and opened it, pulling one out to clean himself off. As Nick looked through his pocket's contents Ellis approached and started wiping his stomach, after some surprise he moved his arms out of the way.  
"You don't have to--..." He began.  
Ellis hummed, "Mm, mm."  
After a few minutes Nick pulled his blue dress shirt back on, along with his shorts and white pants. Ellis for the most part got dressed, too. He folded up his mechanic suit and noticed Nick looking through a worn, black wallet.  
"Lemme see," he asked with some amusement. Nick handed it to him, "Nothing of any worth in there. Anymore, at least."  
Ellis folded it open. He pulled out an ID from inside and held it up, comparing Nicks.  
"Well I am glad you cut the mullet, man," he said with a grin.  
"Wasn't a _mullet,_ " Nick barked.  
The mechanic glanced back down at the wallet, looking at the ID closer, "You look weird with yer face all shaved an' stuff."  
"Weird, huh."  
"I dunno, I like you more like y'are now. Stubble looks good."  
Ellis glanced up again and laughed, "Truly, does any gambler not have a pack of cards in his pocket at all times?"  
"Mm," Nick shook his head, pulling the deck out of its box to shuffle it. After briefly observing the considerable collection of cards and considerable fistful of money in the back Ellis folded the wallet and handed it to Nick.  
Stuffing it back in his pocket, the gambler continued shuffling the deck, "You play anything?"  
"Been a while since I played Poker," Ellis shrugged, "Don't remember much."  
"How about Blackjack?"  
The mechanic shuffled closer, "Sure."  
"Dealer stands at 17. Not much fun without a wager," Nick grumbled, dropping a card in front of Ellis and then himself. Ellis flipped his over and laughed a little, "I dun have any money. Hit."  
A card was passed his way.  
"Ah guess the cliche is we offer favors instead. But I'm not really interested in that sort of thing..."  
"Oh, _no?_ " Nick gave an incredulous laugh, "Lies!"  
"S'not what I mean," a soft look, "...You've already done all I ever... _dreamed_ of you doin'."  
The gambler gave a light smile, eyebrows raised, "Is that so."  
"Jus' explain to me..." Ellis laughed a bit nervously, "Do you... _like_ having a dick in your mouth?"  
Nick's face lit up with a grin. He laughed.  
Ellis' brows just furrowed, "Ah don't get it."  
"You liked it, right?"  
The younger man's mouth curled into an embarrassed, wavy line as he looked down.  
A proud smile came over Nick, "That's all I care about."  
"That's it?" The mechanic glanced up again, "You don't get anything out of it?"  
"Sure I do. But for the most part, I get off on you getting off. You get it?"  
"Man, that's... dedication," eyebrow raised, Ellis shook his head slightly.  
"Mm, depends on who you are... I just wanna make you wish it was _me_ you were dating in highschool," a smarmy, sarcastic grin.  
"You wanna be my girlfriend?" Ellis laughed.  
Nick looked up at him, still smiling, "No, I want to be _better_ than any girlfriend."  
"Wh--" lifting a card eye-level, Ellis stared at it, "There's been a hole punched in this card."  
"Punched in all of them," Nick picked up a couple from the top of the deck in his hand and looked at Ellis through them, "It's so you can't bring cards back into a Casino to keep them in your sleeve or whatever."  
"Huh... Oh-- hit, please."  
Nick dropped another card in front of him.  
"Aw shit."  
The gambler flipped his own over, "...Not that I'm not thankful, but... Everything considered, I didn't really think you'd accept my..." his voice low, "...advances."  
Ellis looked at him in a bit of shock before his expression softened as he looked at Nick's hands.  
"Y'know... Love's the sort of thing, when it happens to you... y'don't really know for sure. There's nothin' tellin' you ' _this is it,_ ' y'know. There were a few girls I thought I loved, I dunno. But to me, we were too close, I guess. I was all uncomfortable-like."  
Nick put another card down, "Like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, huh."  
"Well it was more like that when we did it-- I think... she could tell, y'know. That I wasn't really into it."  
"And it hit you," Nick stared off for a moment, a faux look of shock, " _Suwayt Jayzus, ahm a fag!_ "  
Ellis glared at him, "Rude."  
"I can't imagine growing up gay in the south. Like a big, biological 'kick me' sign," the gambler laid another card down.  
"You ain't from around here, Nick. Yer too _liberal_."  
Nick laughed as he laid down another card.  
"Seventeen. Didn't you think it was weird when I approached you? I thought you were gonna give me an earful about the firey depths of hell," after shuffling again and tossing a card to Ellis he waited.  
The boy made a contemplating face for a moment before flipping the card over.  
"Hmm... Hit. I thought you knew, somehow."  
"Hit at 17? Your funeral. Well, what, you think I have some kind of sassy gay sixth sense? Nope, pure coincidence, my friend," Nick dropped another card.  
Ellis flipped it over. The four of diamonds.  
"Lucky, lucky," the gambler grinned.  
"Both of us," Ellis nodded.  
"Ppht," Nick flipped his card and tossed another down.  
There was some silence as Ellis thought. Nick placed another card down and snorted before shuffling them all back in the deck.  
"Were you..." The mechanic quietly began, "...Popular?"  
Nick made a face, "What're you asking me?"  
"Ah, I-I'm not sayin' you were promiscuous or nothin'. It's just... you seem to know a lot," Ellis scratched the side of his face nervously, "And well... you're handsome..."  
Another card was tossed his way.  
"Most guys are intimidated by me," Nick stated quite plainly.  
"Yeah, right," a flip of a card, "Maybe they could just see the thundercloud over your head."  
The gambler rolled his eyes, "Whatever."  
"Ah well, more for me," Ellis dared a smile, "Hit."  
After a while they decided to nap some before Coach and Rochelle woke up (if they were still asleep). Nick found himself comfortably nuzzling into Ellis' collarbone, their arms around each other, legs tangled together. He thought, unpleasantly, about how his ventures into romance generally turned out. And then... a slight shiver came over him. He might have been afraid, just a little. His brows knit and his eyelids squeezed shut as he felt Ellis' heartbeat.  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

"...Thanks."  
"...Fer what?"  
"For not..." Nick looked away a little, a conflicted expression as he thought of the right words, "...Finding me disgusting, I guess."  
Ellis blinked, looking around in the small room, "What're you talking about?" His voice was low, wary of being heard by their two other companions down the hallway, cooking canned food over a small burner, "We're the same, ain't we? If you're disgusting, so am I!"  
"I mean," a sigh, "When I was... y'know," he made a motion with his right hand, of something on his face. Ellis just stared at him.  
"When you were... cryin'?"  
Nick gave him a look, like he was admitting his own patheticalness. A difficult, embarrassing acceptance.  
Ellis leaned over and gave him a hug the best he could while they sat together, "Ain't nothing to be 'shamed of."  
After a moment of surprise, Nick's arms moved around Ellis' back and he firmly hugged him back.  
He mumbled into Ellis ear, "...Thank you," and felt the mechanic hug him tighter.  
They parted and Ellis left to see if Coach and Rochelle needed any help cooking. As he heard them talking down the hallway, a gentle murmur through the walls, one low, one high and one in between, he quietly laid back on the mattress.  
He thought, and sat up again. Staring at the wall he began to recognize something-- he felt calm. An unfamiliar tranquility had come over him. His chest wasn't as tight as he remembered. His eyes were warm, as if they were ready to spill with tears again.  
When Ellis returned with half a can of beans for him Nick put them aside and sat the man next to him, taking his hands.  
Nick stared as Ellis stared back, his mouth drawn in a straight line.  
The gambler swallowed, and Ellis turned his head a single degree, brows in a suspicious knot.  
"Something's happening to me," Nick grumbled, still glaring.  
Ellis was still confused, "Somethin's... happenin' to you."  
"Yeah."  
The mechanic shook his head subtly, "... _What's_ happening to you?"  
"Just..." Nick's hands lifted Ellis' and placed them on his face, "...Promise me something."  
As he felt the warmth and prickliness of the gambler's face Ellis' expression softened. Nick's eyes closed, his brows furrowing slightly.  
"Don't... leave me. To be alone."  
Ellis was surprised at his sudden sentimentality, "Wh-Why would I go an' do that now? Hoh, Nick..." his hands shifted, "You might act all tough-like, but I ain't never seen someone more tender!"  
"Just _promise_ , alright?" Nick hissed, trying to hide his embarrassment.  
Ellis just gently smiled at him, "Well a'course ah do. I ain't gonna leave ya, Nick."  
The gambler frowned and moved to press the side of his face against Ellis' chest. Feeling the weight against him Ellis blinked, hands half-raised in indecision. Eventually his fingers gently moved to smooth over Nick's coal-black hair as they listened to the rain starting again outside.  
"...'Feel so..." the gambler began, "...Goddamn clingy. I'm sorry."  
"You apologize too much."  
After a moment Ellis lifted Nick's shoulders and he sat back again, "C'mon, I brought ya food, so eat it before it gets cold."  
Nick complied, and as he carefully ate from the can of beans, the too-large spoon he was handed scraping against the inside of the aluminum, Ellis sat nearby, counting rifle bullets in a box from the cabin attic.  
Nick slipped the spoon in his mouth as he watched the boy pick up the shells and one by one drop them in the box. His concentrating face was thoughtful, his pronounced lips parting subtly, briefly. Nick watched his lashes as he blinked.  
"Stop starin' at me and eat," Ellis sounded, a smile cracking slightly through his voice. Nick jolted somewhat before frowning, "I'll stare if I want."  
Ellis just sighed, brows raising as he continued.  
The spoon went into the can again, scraping the inside. Nick chewed on the beans as he watched Ellis.  
"...You're... a really cute kid, y'know."  
Ellis looked at him a little incredulously but reacted politely regardless.  
"Why thank you, Nick."  
He returned to counting, "...You're not too bad yourself."  
"I'm not too hairy?"  
Ellis laughed, "Nah, you ain't too hairy," laughing a bit again, he picked up a bullet and inspected it, "Sometimes that got an appeal, y'know."  
Nick felt himself smile slightly as he continued to eat and watch Ellis.  
The mechanic dropped the last bullet in his hand into the box, "But y'know when I find you're most handsome?"  
Nick was attentive, trying not to gloat.  
"...When you're kind to me. And you ain't hatin' on yourself, or nobody else."  
The gambler's smile faded, and he was quiet.  
Ellis noticed his expression, "That wasn't meant to depress ya none."  
"No, it's..." the can was lowered to the floor, empty save for the spoon inside, "...All the shit I've said to you... I didn't mean it. I'm--"  
"Ah told ya-- you apologize too much," he interrupted the man, catching his glance, "S'fine, Nick. Don't worry about it."  
Ellis gave him a gentle smile and nodded at him, seeing Nick's uncomfortable expression.  
"Have I _ever_ even been kind to you?" He asked.  
Ellis looked shocked, briefly, and then gave a look of melancholy. After a moment he crawled over, _swff, tmp,_ and wrapped his arms around Nick's shoulders, embracing him.  
"...You don't even know, do you?" He mumbled in the man's ear, "Gawd, you don't even know."  
Nick's fingers dug into Ellis' back, grasping his shirt. He swallowed hard.  
"Help me Ellis," he grumbled, "I think I'm gonna cry again."  
Ellis just laughed under his breath and Nick felt it through his chest, "That's fine, Nick. If you wanna cry you can go right ahead. I ain't gonna laugh at you."  
"R-Really?" The gambler barely murmured, noting how pathetic he sounded.  
"Yeah."  
A sob crushed against his lungs and he whispered, "C-Christ..."  
Ellis then held Nick as the man cried, pretty hard, against his shoulder. His collar was soaked in tears, and afterwards, when Nick was in the tired, careless aftermath, Ellis gently kissed him and tried to un-bruise his ego. Nothing was very effective, though.

Standing in a circle they all stared at a map in Ellis' hands. A map that contained most of the southern states and the mid-west, covered in marker-red X's.  
"So..." Nick spoke up, "...Any theories on what all these X's mean?"  
Ellis cocked his head, a vaguely dreading expression as Coach coughed, "No theories anybody wants to hear. But before you start condemning us all to death, Nick, let's just think of our choices."  
"We're here," Ellis tapped a finger against the map. Everything surrounding that point was covered in X's, "Uh... Well, shit. Do we really have any choice besides going to _Mexico?_ "  
The gambler's expression turned to spite, "Mexico in the zombie apocalypse... Now there's a real hell on Earth."  
"Yeah, we're certainly going to have to think on that one," Rochelle added, resting her hand on her hip.  
Ellis didn't see anything good in their situation, "Man... Sure we shouldn't've just went with those guys to the Keys?"  
"You wanna be trapped on a boat with that guy?" Nick spat, "Gimme a break."  
The lady of their group laughed incredulously, "Are you talking about Francis?"  
"Yeah, I'm talking about him. And I've had enough of him."  
"Nick," Ellis turned to him, a slight frown, "...We don't have many choices right now. So just think about it... Would you rather fight your way into god-knows-what in Mexico, or live with one annoying guy in the Florida Keys?"  
Their gazes met and Nick quietly, slowly stepped down with something inside of him lowering his fists, so to say. His lips pursed.  
"...I'll think about it," he calmly told Ellis.  
Coach and Rochelle just stared at him. The reporter's mouth cracked into an uncontrollable grin.  
"Wha-at?" She laughed, looking at Nick.  
" _What_ , what," he glared back in defense, "What's so funny?"  
"Whatever you workin' on Nick, young'n," Coach gave a surprised smile at Ellis, "It's _workin'_."  
"Oh-hoh-hoh!" The mechanic laughed nervously, "I, uh..." He swallowed a lump in his throat, absolutely stone-faced as his cheeks flushed.  
"Would everybody just shut up," Nick interrupted, the conversation already too personal for his tastes, as he snatched the map from Ellis' frozen hands.  
After staring at it for a moment, he commented "You know... This map doesn't include western states..."  
He looked up to see Rochelle still giggling to herself in disbelief and Coach half-smiling skeptically, "So what are you tryin' to say? We gotta head to California?"  
Nick gave them both a brief, stern glare before folding up the map and dropping it on a nearby table.  
"Better than sitting around here."  
"Ah think maybe it's time to start really makin' plans, here," the eldest decided, "We been on the run for what, almost a month now? We keep running west we're gonna run outta land."  
A finger tapped on the map near the gambler and Nick tried to be as calm as he could, "If you figure anything out, keep this in mind. The entire country is _crawling_ with zombies."  
"Dun think that's something we're gonna forget anytime soon," Ellis carped.  
Nick looked at him for a moment, then Rochelle, and then Coach.  
"Sorry," he apologized before turning and going back into his designated room. Rochelle's mouth opened somewhat again as she stared at him before he disappeared. She turned to Ellis with an expression close to accusation.  
"What in the world did you do to him?"  
The mechanic jumped, clapping his hands onto the hat in his hand, "Wha-?! A-Ah didn't do nothin'!" The hat went on his head, "And for the record-- ah think we should avoid Houston."  
Ellis bowed somewhat before stumbling into his room.

Half-asleep he lay alone on the dirty mattress in the tiny room. The mechanic rolled onto his stomach, feeling his cold arms with his hands. Some moments passed and he heard careful footsteps outside his door, and then quietly his door opened more, someone slipped in, and then the light faded as the door was pushed to once again.  
Weight moved, and the body of someone wearing a white dress-suit appeared over him, crawling over his back and pressing down on him. A hand moved to his shoulder.  
"Nick," Ellis croaked, "You're squishin' me."  
"...You're goddamn freezing," the gambler replied, opening his coat and trying to cover him with it. Ellis moved somewhat, his head still turned to the side as he positioned himself onto his back underneath Nick, a gentle frown on his face. The gambler looked at him, a concerned expression.  
"What's up, Ellis?" The man asked him with genuine worry, "You've been... well, relatively quiet lately."  
"Sorry, Nick. I guess I'm just getting... tired of this whole apocalypse business, y'know," he sighed, turning to face Nick.  
"As you would," the gambler admitted, "But what happened to that... gung-ho, kill-'em-all attitude? Hm?"  
He smiled and kissed the mechanic's cheek. Ellis looked at him, barely able to stifle an amused grin.  
"...You really are different, y'know. Ro wasn't lyin'."  
"S'that a bad thing?" Nick gave him a look that he recognized before-- when he said he'd 'think about it'. A sort of _restraint_ like an angry, dangerous animal held back by a young girl. There was a tinge of a trusting resentment in it, though, a taming of a giant, great pride.  
Ellis lifted his hand and smoothed it over Nick's cheek. The gambler's eyes closed and subtly he nuzzled into the touch.  
"Mm, your hand's so cold..." He took it and pressed it against his chest to feel the warmth there. Ellis' fingers shifted, and he felt with his thumb the remains of three deep claw-marks on Nick's chest.  
Suddenly the man's thin lips pressed against his own.  
Ellis blinked, feeling the honey-warmth in his chest, and Nick's heartbeat under his fingers. He pressed his tongue against the other man's, his brows knotting against the pressure upon him.  
"Mm..."  
Nick pulled back, panting slightly. He looked upon Ellis' lips before catching his gaze. They stayed a moment, looking at each other.  
"Do you wanna..." Ellis began, voice terribly low, "...Fuck me?"  
Nick didn't make an effort to contain his surprise, freezing, an expression of bewilderment "D-Do I wanna..."  
"Ah figure you must be tired of... takin' it from me all the time."  
The gambler just examined his expression with some concern before shaking his head subtly, "No, no. You wouldn't enjoy it."  
Ellis looked offended, "You enjoy it, don't you?"  
"I'm not just saying this--" Nick tried to make sure he understood, "It's really something you've gotta warm up to. It's..."  
He heard the boy sigh. Nick swallowed awkwardly, one brow raising.  
"...What do you want me to say? It's painful. But... I... I guess we can try it if you want."  
Ellis made a face, pouting his lips somewhat, unimpressed.  
"You gotta tell me. Well, I'll understand if y'don't tell me, but I'd still like to know... How many guys have you had sex with?"  
Nick bit his lip, glancing away, "Hrmm. Including you?" He made a faux motion of pondering, a hand to his jaw.  
"...Two."  
"Two? Seriously?" Ellis was incredulous, "How d-- _No way_. I'm not that-- You _are_ good at what you do," he laughed in disbelief, "Ah-ha'm not _crazy_."  
Nick was somewhat flattered.  
"Let me just... clarify. I was never _promiscuous_ with men. Nobody liked me enough. I did meet a lot of _promiscuous_ women, though, and... I picked up a lot from them. I had gay friends, too, but... I was too ashamed of myself to do anything with them. Well, that and they were total assholes."  
Ellis just laid his head back on the mattress, closed his eyes and sighed.  
"That's..." he whispered, "...Ah am the second man you've had sex with... Jesus Christ, here I was thinkin' you were all-knowin'-like."  
"Well, sorry to crush your dreams," Nick griped.  
Ellis looked at him again, "Wait, when I'm... makin' love to you... it hurts? A lot?"  
A slight smile tugged at the corners of Nick's mouth, seeing the merciful concern on Ellis' face. He shook his head.  
"Nah, you don't hurt me. Most of the time, at least."  
Catching his slight expression of confusion, Nick continued, "...I've had... practice."  
A sneaky grin came over Ellis, "Ah can just imagine, Nick starin' at a cucumber in the fridge--"  
Nick gave him a gentle, albeit distractingly jarring headbutt, "Gah!"  
"I've had access to toys, you-- goddamn honky yokel."  
A hand moved to rub the pain from Ellis' forehead as he craned his neck back against the mattress, "Oh gawd, Nick with a dildo in his butt! Mercy!"  
"I'm never telling you anything ever again," the gambler barked.  
"Wait," Ellis froze, "That means you've never given it to another man, right?"  
Nick frowned, sitting back, "Honestly, I prefer being the catcher."  
"Huh... Ah dunno, it's... kinda..."  
In a swift movement Nick lifted up Ellis' knees and put them over his shoulders, "Whoa-- what're you--"  
"Doing it," Nick gave him a stern look, "And talking about it... Are two totally different things. Are you even comfortable with this?"  
He leaned forward, pressing his crotch against Ellis' butt. The boy stared at him silently, feeling heat hazing from his neck to his face, and feeling a tangle of weird, unfamiliar feelings. Nick cocked his head, keeping his gaze in Ellis' eyes, “...If you put anything in your butt, I'd bet actual money that it'd make you empty your stomach for a while. It happens.”  
Slowly, Nick lowered the mechanic's legs and crawled over him, kneeling and sitting over Ellis' pelvis, leaning back somewhat.  
"Or... you could just..." The gambler's mouth curled into a smile as he gently pressed his butt against the boy's groin. Ellis cringed against the sensation, the hotness in his belly.  
"Ah... I'm not really... in the mood right now..."  
"Fine enough."  
He kneeled up.  
"So you're not... tired of it, then?" Ellis asked.  
Nick glanced at him, a slightly bothered expression, "I'm not doing it just to amuse you, y'know. What, you think it's humiliating? Degrading?"  
"Ah didn't say anythin' like that."  
Some silence. The gambler made a vaguely defeated expression before moving to lie down next to Ellis and drape his arm over him. As he looked at him Ellis did the same and moved closer to the other man, pulling his chest towards him.  
"Plenty of people..." the gambler spoke low, "...They think being submissive is 'something a man doesn't do.' I'm sure you know guys like that, right? Right."  
Ellis said nothing, merely tightening his hold on Nick, pressing his face into the man's collar.  
"...If I were a woman..." Nick pondered, "They'd still look down on me, wouldn't they. And I'd be in prison for murder. Or a couple murders... Definitely a couple murders..."  
Ellis sighed into his jacket and eventually fell asleep to the droning, nasal sound of Nick's sarcastic, contemplating voice.

When Nick woke up he heard voices, the other survivors in conversation down the hall. He lay alone on the bed, a musty hat clung tight in his fist. He relaxed and blinked against the light shining in from the hallway before looking at said hat and briefly smelling it. He wasn't sure why. It didn't smell very good.  
Eventually he stepped out and made his way to his companions, each of them giving a moment's glance at Nick. Ellis gave him a warm smile, "Mah hat."  
He took it and affixed it back on his head.  
Nick looked to Coach before he spoke, "Nick, we decided to get out of here and head west like you suggested. It ain't a good plan, but it's a plan."  
The gambler yawned and reached for his AK.

They continued, through the apartment complex. Eventually they made it through the streets, a neighbourhood covered in trees, and deeper into the city. Over a hill they spotted a bunker, and a safe room inside. Fighting off zombies they made it inside and barred the door.  
Passing through another door they found a hall of beds, fully made and virtually untouched. After making sure there were no zombies around they dispersed, looking around.  
"Musta left here in a rush," Coach theorized. Nick glanced in some relief at the clean bedsheets and a decent pillow on a nearby bed. He heard Ellis calling, "Hey Nick," and looked towards him standing at a door on the opposite end of the room. The mechanic waved to him.  
Nick walked over, laying his AK against a bed on the way and as he approached Ellis opened the door for him to look inside.  
"Check it out!"  
A long row of shower stalls lined inside with some lockers along the wall half-way. Nick entered and observed his surroundings somewhat as Ellis followed.  
"Figured you'd like a hot shower. Probably the cleanest place in the house."  
The gambler approached a stall, "I'm not gonna hold my breath until..."  
A tap turned. Water came out. Something of a look of excitement came upon him and he cautiously moved his hand to feel the water. It turned hot.  
"Oh... Oh yeah... Ah-heh-heh," a grin wrung Nick's mouth.  
Ellis laughed, "You okay there?"  
Nick just continued to laugh to himself, so Ellis shrugged and returned to Rochelle and Coach while they surveyed the bunker some more. There was another room full of boxes, some of which were actually military rations, so there was some estimation to be made on how long they could subsist on them.  
After some discussion, Ellis noticed Nick still hadn't come out of the showers, so the mechanic wandered back through the door, slowly opening it and being greeted with steam and the sound of water.  
He took some wary steps in and saw, nearby, Nick's suit neatly folded up on a counter. Ellis drew near it and saw Nick's three golden rings resting atop the blue of his dress-shirt. One by one he quietly lifted them up, inspecting them.  
The mechanic's finger fit through one comfortably, and he looked at it on his hand before he slipped it off with a little difficulty.  
"Who is it?"  
Ellis jumped, dropping the ring. _Ting!_  
"Shit--" It rolled along the tiled floor, landing in front of an occupied shower stall. Ellis followed it, "It's me," he replied, bending down to pick up the golden band.  
The curtain pulled open slightly and Nick poked his head out, glaring down at the young man, a snooty expression on his soaking wet face.  
"...You want something?" he questioned, most likely not really interested in an answer. Ellis froze awkwardly, staring up at him.  
A vaguely lewid smile came over him as he leaned to the side to try to see Nick's body behind the curtain. Nick leaned with him, giving a suspicious expression until Ellis quickly reached over to lift the wet curtain up and look under. The gambler froze.  
“...You seem awfully nervous,” Ellis drawled, taking an eyeful of Nick's sparsely hairy legs as water from the shower ran down them. He playfully chirped, “Nothin' I haven't seen before.”  
“Then--” Nick reached out and pulled Ellis into the shower with him, "Stop ogling me!"  
Ellis squirmed in surprise as Nick kissed him again and again-- the mechanic caught his hat as it threatened to leave his head, and he sputtered, "Nick-- ah've got half a dozen bullets in my pocket, lemme get undressed at least!"  
With a frustrated "Hrmm" Nick pushed Ellis out, closing the curtain behind him.  
Whipping his arms to slough off some of the water, Ellis quickly stripped, tossing all his clothes over the curtain rod of the shower adjacent to Nick's and then thrust himself into the gambler's personal space, earning an uncharacteristic squeak. The gambler moved aside in the small space, barely big enough for both of them.  
Ellis reminded him, “Ahm dirty, Nick!”  
“You want me to wash you?” Nick raised a brow as if it were the most unreasonable of favors.  
“ _You_ need any help?” Ellis' face lit up with a goofy grin and he raised his hands to demonstrate.  
Nick just frowned, "I can wash myse--" a sigh, "Fine, I'll play along."  
Ellis gave a look of what Nick interpreted as glee as the younger man's smile widened. A hand rested on his chest as Nick reached for a bottle behind him, "You're in need of cleaning more than I am, here."  
He reached up toward's Ellis head and began to clean his hair. The boy's fingers moved to Nick's shoulders to rest there as he made a tranquil expression, and he barely felt something under his fingers. Quickly he glanced down at the man's shoulder.  
"Is there a scar here? I thought I saw it before but ah wasn't sure."  
"Yeap."  
"I bet it's got a badass story behind it. C'mon, tell me."  
" _I_..." Nick began as he moved Ellis' head under the shower to rinse his hair, "Was shot once. Well... Yeah, once."  
Ellis coughed, breathing in water, "S-Say what, now?"  
He stepped back somewhat, smoothing the vaguely curly brown locks from his forehead and wiped the water from his face. Nick took the face cloth from the curtain rod and squeezed it out, "Nobody listens to a word I say. It was at a wedding. _My_ wedding."  
The mechanic stared at him, "So you _did_ get married!"  
"Jesus Christ, how many times have I told you?" Nick griped as Ellis took a bar of soap in hand. As he lathered the soap on his chest, stomach, arms, Nick continued.  
"An asshole who wasn't even goddamn _invited_ shot me while I was on the altar."  
"Yer lucky it didn't hit your chest. I guess you were marryin' a lady?" Ellis asked with some suspicion.  
Nick just glared at him, "Yeah."  
"'Bet she was real nice."  
"She was alright."  
Ellis laughed, "Sure she wasn't just a _beard_ , then?"  
The gambler gave him a semi-gentle slap on the arm, "Ow!" "Shut up."  
A tense expression came to Ellis' face as he thought, asking, "What happened to 'em?"  
"The guy who shot me?" Nick frowned, sarcasm thick in his voice, "He's dead. What do you care? I sent him off a cliff in a car."  
"Ooh-kay," Ellis warily grinned, fully aware that he was being lied to, "Well, I hope you'll give me some kinda warning before you send me to see my maker."  
"Don't shoot me,” the gambler replied, as if it were very simple, and then, after some thought, he softened; “Y'know... Don't worry about it, Ellis.”  
His lips pressed against Ellis', once, twice. The young man sighed, his mouth curling into an honest smile. 

After they dried and got dressed they stayed in the bathroom a bit, standing in front of the sinks. Ellis blinked, moving his face close to a mirror there as Nick situated his rings on their particular fingers.  
The mechanic's brows furrowed subtly, "S'weird... I look different."  
"Oh yeah?" Nick blinked up to look at him as he buttoned his cuffs again.  
Ellis' lip pouted slightly as he took his hat off and continued his gaze, "...Ah dunno. S'like I'm... a little more rugged," a hand moved to smooth over his face confidently, "...Handsome even."  
Nick smiled to himself and shook his head. He brushed off the shoulder of his suit jacket before turning, and caught his own stare in the glass.  
He looked at himself, his bothered glare cutting through the space between him and the mirror. Slowly his expression softened.  
"Man, yer always frownin'."  
Nick breathed in and sighed. He glanced to Ellis' face through the reflection for a moment. The boy put an arm around his shoulder and a hand to the gambler's face, "Ah like it best when you smile, y'know."  
Nick batted his hand away and gave a flat expression. Ellis cocked his head as they looked into the mirror again.  
"...Y'know, that girl I went out with... When we met she said she knew I was, well, _the one_ because I said she had a pretty smile. Her grandmother told her as long as she was smilin' she'd find mister right."  
Nick frowned. As the older man spoke Ellis looked up at him.  
"It's different. There's nothing uglier than a man waiting for love."  
The arm around his shoulders slipped off and Ellis' hands grasped his arms and gently turned him towards himself. Ellis softly kissed Nick as the gambler closed his eyes.  
The mechanic drew back, "...You still waitin'?"  
Nick's expression softened into a vaguely guilty look.  
"Ah mean," Ellis tried to encourage him with a smile, "You were the one who came to me. Ah thought I was the one who was waitin'."  
A look of frustrated concern came over Nick as he stared at the boy. His arms moved around Ellis and he pulled him into a tight hug. The mechanic grunted, the air squeezed from him. Ellis laughed to himself as Nick grumbled to him;  
"Shut up."  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had to exercise such fdakjskjsdfa restraint to keep from shredding up this story as I edited it-- it's from 9-8 years ago, and I have to largely let it be, if not because I need to let go then because I will lose my fucking mind otherwise lolol  
> Still, the back half of chapters have parts that were axed up like I was splitting wood.


End file.
